January 21, 2010

bugger

So, I'm fully aware that one should never post when in the sentimental mood (as I've stated before it's just romanticizing the fact that you're tired), but everyone falls of the sensical horse and tonight is that so said night for me. I'm feeling a bit confused, frustrated and just really confused. I can't decide what to do with several little details of my existence and while compaired to major earthquakes, drunk politicians, and the ongoing debacle between werewolf and vampire, my life dilemmas may seem pretty insignificant. But, nonetheless they are overwhelming me bit by bit. Journalism degree? Job? Roomate? And many more that your nosey self doesn't need to be concerned with. But, in my nutrition class today I had a small epiphany. We were discussing body image, which is mostly what the course is about, and discussing our bias's we have regarding people's appearance, particularly fat or obese people. I realized that I am super judgemental and what a total inconvenience that is considering my major is dealing with people who need help with their weight, not Bob and Jillian's who need help maintaining their perfect figures. I have had this false sense of superiority, thinking that it is my mission to go out there and make all the fat people skinny and hence create self esteem across the globe! lofty resolutions, eh? I realized also that being bigger does not mean you are lazy! After discussing the physiological and psychological 'nitty-gritty's' of obesity I realize that it is I who have been extremely naive. I've always been an 'eat right and exercise! It's literally that simple.' But guess what my avid readers, it sometimes is not that simple. So to all people who have felt judged, blatantly ignored, or told that you need to lose weight (obviously bigger people know that they are big, seriously people we need to stop stating the obvious. Also if you see someone particularly tall I PROMISE you don't need to comment on their height, they are fully aware), I am deeply sorry. I am so sorry if I have ever made you feel like less of a person because you didn't have the cookie-cutter image that I have unfortunately bought into. Being skinny does NOT mean you are fit, it simply means you are skinny...for the time being. After being in this degree I have learned that being fit has nothing to do with how you look. But this is not to downplay the importance of exercise and a good diet, they really will do wonders and are the figurative magic pill people are searching for. Just don't underestimate the complexity.
I also realized with this mind-blower of moments in Hyper N room138 that I have been absurdly blessed. I'm going to probably sound extremely pompous and annoying, but I assure you my intentions are nothing but angelic. I have been extremely blessed to have a body that can do whatever I ask it to (minus the splits or anything regarding flexibility. Dang those toes, their always just so far away). I am secure with how I look, but don't be fooled that I'm more psychologically sound than the next bloak, I have just been given a healthy frame to function in. Some people are asked to deal with bodies that prevent them from doing many things they want to do. People don't always not do things because they are lazy. CRAZY! I'm just glad that that particular burden hasn't been mine to bear, and I hope that from the awesome professors and this way cool major I can make life a bit easier and less harsh to those who were maybe asked to deal with a struggle in an unsympathetic world.
One more point on this post with no cool pics or worthwhile jokes, I want to plead with people, whomever you may be, to stop reading the trash that fills our minds with discouraging thoughts and unrealistic expectations. There are SO many good magazines and such out there that supports health and happy living without asking you to stretch your face till it lies flat against your cerebrum and run till your stomach literally has to start feeding on your skin. I'm just as guilty as the next life-form of reading the smut and saying out loud, "she is so skinny it's not even attractive." But even looking at that trash implants ridiculous crap in your gizzards that will shew its ugly head later. So, even though you may want to junk punch me for sounding preachy, despite how much I hate that and hope I don't, try with me to read only things that will help us be secure with what we were given and cash in on our natural gift cards. How rude is it to be dissatisfied with these miraculous bodies that work in mind boggling ways? The end and one more apology for the road

10 comments:

sammygrace said...

I totally don't think you sound preachy- i think too many girls these days do read the crap in magazines and they let their self esteem drop little by little and then all the sudden they have a serious eating disorder--NOT GOOD. so i'm glad you posted this cuz its important, not preachy:)

Julianne said...

So many true words. I've always struggled with my body image--and really, it's quite average (in the real world, not the media world). I'm just NOW starting to be grateful for how many awesome things my body can do. I loved your post. And I think we all need to be a little more grateful for what we have and keep what we have HEALTHY.

Camila said...

hey thanks Rash, I enjoyed reading this post. You sure do have a with words! and go along with what Julianne said. Thanks for posting, it made me less self concious i guess you could say :)

Sara Soda said...

Oh, Rachelle... your comments pretty much reflect my exact thoughts on people who don't share my body shape. I've always been way too judgmental, til I worked at my cousin's place this summer, Fitness Ridge. And that made me EXTREMELY grateful for the body I've been given that doesn't ever tell me no. Unless I attempt to jog. And then I flip myself a middle finger. And people look at me funny.

Veronica said...

shelly i hear by promise that i will no longer read those 17 magazines, even if they do have pretty clothes on the front cover. loved the post, it was deep :]

Leah Wilson said...

Hi Rash. I read your blog sometimes. Neat, huh? I guess we really are best friends. I'm still going to follow the day to day of all the celebs though. I guess your message didn't quote on quote sink in for me. Actually, remember how I literally can't even watch the Office without huge consequences? That's so sad.

bethany said...

So, here's a huge downer, we can usually tell (to some degree) how we're affected by reading about carmen electra's workout or watching the bachelor etc etc, but how much of our socializing is done unconsciously? The part we can't measure.... creepy. If we were all neanderthals (or simply illiterate) we would be so much better/cuter.

Jessica Gilmore said...

1. I'm mad that Leah doesn't follow MY blog.
2. I'm mad that Leah is going on a mission. 10% glad, 80% sad, 10% mad.
3. Good post, friend. I stopped looking through magazines and watching tv a couple years ago. Although I've always been mostly confident and happy I think every girl struggles with self image from time to time. I've gained pounds and pounds of confidence since I stopped watching tv and looking at magazines. I've also come to embrace (somewhat, not totally, it's hard) the female form for its beauty instead of for its sexuality. That said I definitely think sexuality in the female body is beautiful. My ideas towards bodies has changed though, I'm much less critical and more thankful for my own skin and muscle and bone. It's hard sometimes. But it feels sooo good to just love my body.
4. I've always had a huge crush on you and your hot bod, so don't get fat k? ;) (kidding, but only a little bit)

Emily & Kyle said...

It took me a whole bag of cheetos to read that give me a freaking break. I love making fun of fat people and I'm fat. They were put here on earth for our enjoyment. Enjoy them while you can. KB

Jordan Huntington said...

Lately, I have been feeling the importance of being connected to your body. It is strange how we use ARE our bodies and yet we have a hard time understanding them, let alone what we are actually capable of. I have been trying to explore my body and its possibilities these last few months and I am amazed almost everyday when I do something I never knew I could do.

Looking fit and being fit are completely different, and that is something I have realized as I have been attempting to push my body to do things I did not ever expect it to do. It is empowering to feel the strength of your own body, it is linked to how I feel emotionally and mentally about the world around me. This is a great perspective you have, and someone will be lucky to have you work with them on realizing just how amazing their own body is as well.

Thanks for being so sweet!

- jo