February 23, 2010

God Bless the UK

I love my major. It's just true. I realized today while discussing it with a poor sap who chose chemistry that my major is truly the bees knees and the bananas pajamas. It's challenging (I have a couple of grades to prove it), but it's entirely enrapturing and the professors are not pretentious in the least. The biggest benefit is easily that you can wear gym clothes each and every day and not only is it ok, it's expected! Could I be more blessed? I'll quit bragging about my life, cause it's always a smidge annoying when people do it. Not that I'm not unhappy for all those perfectly content in their sitch, but isn't it always a tad obnoxious to read about someone brag for a lengthy time? It reminds me of the line on P and P (pride and prejudice for those of you without ovaries) when the delightful Mr. Collins says to the Bennett family, "I thought I might read to you all for an hour or two from the four dice sermons." Classic. Anyways, I digress.
So, I have a professor, Dave. Yep, just Dave. He is from London and despite having been here for over 20 years is still intent on making sure we all know how much better the monarchy is to our falling Obamerica ( am I the first to come up with that? Cause it just came out and I can't help but look back and be pretty proud of myself. Proof is in the pudding! I am paying a fortune for education!). But, he is a hilarious chap and is constantly cracking jokes and more importantly making fun of people. I, luckily, happen to be one of his favorites to pick on. Here are a couple of our convos in class:
Dave: "I would like all of you to wear appropriate attire to class, so we can move around a bit and now rip our nickers. Ah, Rachelle, come on up to the front of the class would you?
I hesitantly walk to the front of the classroom.
Dave: "Now here is an example of what to wear to class. Rachelle has conveniently worn her track pants to class on the first day. So dress like her, but...do feel free to do your hair."
Me: "May I sit down now Dave?"
Dave: "Naw, take a minute to bask in your glory."

Dave: "Rachelle, do you have a rubber in your bag?"
Me: "What?!"
Dave: "Yes Rachelle, a rubber. Don't act so surprised, I've seen you using one before.
Me: "Dave, I'm pretty sure you have not seen me use a rubber before." The amount of redness on my face could provide blush for albinos across the globe.
Dave: "Come on Rachelle, I just need one, I'm not going to take your whole stash."
The entire class is just reveling it in at this point.
Me: "I SWEAR I do not have a spare or any other kind of rubber in my bag.
Dave: "You don't have one pencil in your bag?"
Me: (entirely confused) "Huh?"
Dave: "You know, the thing to erase what you don't want on your bloody paper for goodness sake!"
That's when it hit him. Darn those semantics! The word my otherwise on-the-ball teach was looking for was eraser. In England apparently they call them rubbers. His pride was injured so he let us out early. That still hasn't stopped the class from calling me Trojan lately. Nice


Ty * April said...

I have to admit, this is probably the best blog you have written in a long time. I have sat here laughing my head off. Which was very much needed...THANK YOU! I love the way you use those words.

Summer Wilson said...

Classic 'Rachelle'. Trojan is an entirely appropriate nickname isn't it?

kylee said...

i just peed my pants.. ha ha

Sara Soda said...

Ha! That story is so funny, I read it, laughed out loud (a literal laugh out loud... an Llol, if you will) and then proceeded to read it to Bryan, who just said, "Wow." I love the British.

Anonymous said...

HAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.... *gasp* hahahhaahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaa a rubber oh my goodness he wanted a rubber hahahahhhahhahahaaha gullible you shelly :) but i have to admit i didn't get half the words you use.... your gonna have to dumb it down for the wee ones ya know... we don't want to be left out of the comedy :)

Heidi said...

Oh my gosh!!! I can't stop laughing!!! That's hilarious.

-Kyle and Emily- said...

God bless the UK indeed. When Kyle and I went to Europe our tour guide was from London, and she had lots of weird words and expressions she used. I wrote them all down in my journal during the trip, I should pull it out someday and read it to you!