Fact: I need a job
Fact: I need a job in the salt lake arena
Fact: I hate most jobs. I feel they stifle my otherwise free-as-a-bird, life-loving attitude.
Tid Bit: I have no money. This is what I would publish as 'fact,' but I'm fully aware of a impoverished population that would say I am a whiner and an ungrateful nincapoop.
Tid Bit: If Obama doesn't give me back some serious cash from taxes I will hence move to Canada where they have a similar government that he is reaching for and have done it for much longer. I trust longevity.
Opinion: Patriotism is overrated
Disclaimer: I didn't really mean the that
Fact: In this quest for a job, which by the way has left me with an ever declining self esteem rating, I decided to stop looking at 'cute' locations that should have been jumping to hire me upon realizing my charismatic brilliance and a game face that could sell ice to an Eskimo! Anyway, upon stopping to contemplate I thought, "Chelle, what are your viable skills?" This left me feeling tired. So, after all this contemplation it hit me and it didn't tickle when it hit my friends, I have no viable skills! Yes, dear siblings, I know you all have multiple unabashed witty comments to throw out, but please, do remember the fragile state of my self esteem. After a full day of being rejected and applying at jobs I'm sure I'd hate, the worst happened. I started talking to myself... and I listened.
The conversation with myself went like this:
Self: If pride is now a past luxury, why not just apply wherever you want Chelle?!
Me: Good idea, self!
Self: What would you like to do?
Me: Well, coaching the womens soccer team at the U would be fun.
Self: Well, gehead, give it a whirl.
So, dear readers, I hope you can't guess what I did next, but yep, I called the coach of the University of Utah's womens soccer team. Our convo went a little something like this (mind you this is not verbatim, but you'll get the general idea):
Me: Hello coach, my name is Rachelle Ballard and I would like to offer my services to you and your team.
Me: Yes, I am a student at the U and I would like to work for you and the team. So, can you put me to work?
Coach: I'm pretty confused at what you're asking.
Me: Yeah, I can see how that could happen. Mostly I just wanted to know if you need any help with your upcoming season?
Coach: You want to be our manager or something?
Me: Does that pay?
Coach: mmm, not really.
Me: Nope. Got anything else?
Coach: Afraid not. But thanks for being so willing to help.
Me: Your welcome.
Yep. I have hit rock bottom folks. I have nothing else to say. Do you blame me? Needless to admit, if you have any good, VIABLE job options that you think would suit my summer fancy, do let me know.
Now that you see us in the same line-up it doesn't seem like such a far-fetched idea huh!?
March 29, 2010
Fact: I need a job
Posted by rachelle at 3:54 PM