December 19, 2012

The final days

The final days of Seattle, not the world. Though, now that I ponder it what a convenient title considering the whole apocalypse n such. Speaking of which, I recently watched 'Seeking a Friend for the End of the World,' which I also found to be ironic in it's timing. Nothing earth shattering, but a good flick.
Sitting here now I am flooded with the gaping smallness of my life. I have big decisions in front of me. So many in fact, instead of being overwhelmed, as I was and have been the past few days, I am now (more or less) finding incurable amounts of humor in the whole lot of it. Because no matter how many big decisions, - i.e., apply to grad school - espesh with my current view of secular education? Move out of the country? Keep working 4 different jobs? Marriage/family now or wait till I'm 30 as planned? Start confronting all my life's hypocrisies at once (I think I told you how I've been realizing just how hypocritical I am. It's sickening)? Move to Kauai and do yoga and eat fruit all day? Anyway, despite all these biggies, I am painfully aware of just how much it doesn't matter! I'm fine. I'm going to be just fine. There is a current to my life and I can swim with it in my decisions or I can fight it, but either way, I'm going to be swept away. I'm not trying to get crazy 'deep.' I just mean to say there is a lot on the table right now, but I feel completely comfortable knowing that I don't know a damn thing. When things are 'in flow,' I'll know it. When they're not, I also feel it. Guilt and obligation have no place in major life decisions.

Soap box finished.

Back to Seattle.

I feel obligated to mention a major hilarity of the trip. * - I was SOOO excited about eating some fresh seafood. I even took notes from my well-traveled spin class as to which restaurants were best. Reality: Didn't eat a solitary piece of seafood the entire time I was there. In fact, we ate at the same two places nearly the entire trip.

A Thai restaurant with some of the most delicious Thai I've ever had, and....

(this Tom Kah was my palette's Christmas miracle)
the Chocolati Cafe.

We usually ended every day here. We would take the liberty of ordering about 10 of the most delicious chocolates I've ever had, write in our notebooks, talk like we knew a damn....then laughed when the realizations hit that we didn't know anything, then we would order one or two more and go home to bed.

My last day in Seattle we did do something I had been dreaming of for a long time. I wanted to get lost in the woods. I told Judy of my borderline worrisome obsession with the trees I imagined to meet there. I was not disappointed. The day I go to Sequoia National Park I promise I'll faint, or cry, or pee my pants.

We did a relatively short hike about 40 minutes from Judy's place and it rocked my world. Being in Seattle, this amazingly green, beautiful city, I did think on how lucky I am to live in SLC. While I am fine to move if an opportunity arises, I feel so much gratitude for the proximity to my mountains. I can drive about 5 minutes and be swept away in mountain heaven.

I love lesbian boots. Judge me as you will, they make me feel like I could conquer the wild and return to mother with not a scratch or mud clod to scathe her carpets.

 T'was a great trip and Judy was a pretty host. Has anyone jumped on my '.com' bandwagon yet? Just like leg warmers and David Hasselhoff, aka 'The Hoff,' let it come back!!

Question is....where to go next?


Adam said...

pretty much begging for an intervention, right? You can come here next - nothing like 3 little kids sneezing on you and breaking your valuables to give you some perspective on life.