Rash Bal

It's A Major Award!!!!

2012-01-29T16:32:00.000-08:00

This is apparently what the ol Mac thinks I look like with fish eyes. I don't know if I agree with their interpretation. I've spent far too long this morning laughing-so-hard-I-bawl at the pics I've been taking of myself and just how ug I can be. Kind of a sad sort of morning even amidst all the laughter, when ya think about it.

It's Sunday. I get most homesick on Sundays because I was raised by a Goddess of a mother who prepared phenomenal meals and I got to play with all the tiny little punks and send them home after they got too annoying. ah....such a good day Sundays at the Ballard home are. I miss them.

I GOT A TEACHING JOB!!! I now teach two yoga classes at the field house on campus. Neat, yeah?

My friend Tyler Andrews, his sister emi and her lover Mckay started a band called Children of the North and we went to their gig Friday night and it was amazing. I recommend a listen to their stuff http://childrenofthenorth.bandcamp.com/track/im-a-pilgrim-im-a-stranger

Another night, we did this:

The Night We Contributed to the World of Science and Discovery

It was a night like any other when we decided to take this

And see how many balloons it would take to make this happen

(see Judy's tiny little specs in there?)

It began with a simple question, hypothesis, experiment.....I can't really remember the rest of the process, but as the scientific method teaches us, there is an order to the answering of life's biggest mysteries through scientific means.

Different tactics and avenues were explored to find success. I feel like Thomas Edison would have not only appreciated our task but our persistance in trying many different things.

Finally, they gently lifted off her face like sweet little angels going back to their heavenly home

Creepy bystander. They're necessary to keep the study unbiased

The proud researchers and their final product. Publishers will be peer reviewing and putting the study up for debate soon.

There was a contest as to how many balloons it would take. Did I maybe create this post just to brag that I guessed the exact amount and stole some jam out of the party host's house as a my major award? Psh.....no.

But yes, it did take exactly 23 balloons. I guessed 23. Hogwarts doesn't know what they missed.

Gettin Big n All That Jazz

2012-01-09T18:33:00.000-08:00

I feel like I can say stuff like, "all that jazz" when I'm wearing a hat like the one in my Van Gough inspired self portrait, (I chose to chop off both of my ears...I refuse to be one-upped). So, as per tradition I am keeping things very current by giving you a portrait of myself in this very instant, this very fleeting but happening moment. Very real. Very Kardashian/Real World/Jersey Shore/All-other sad-and-embarrassing-reality-television of me.

So, here we are again folks, another couple months and another picture/word vomit from yours truly. I wish I was in more of a bloggerish mood, but I am not. Maybe you will benefit and my refined and eloquent jokes that I am finding out more and more are only funny to me will be minimal.

YOGA:

I literally have days, that's right, days left of yoga training. I can't way talk/write about it cause I begin to bawl and then things get dicey in an already sketch basemen apartment filled with nicotine soaked walls. These are pics from one of our special cooking nights. We made a full Ayurvedic meal, full of fresh, amazing goodness with a ton of added health benefits for each one of us in particular.

As you can see the mulled wine was in no shortage for the little cuties.

Camille, Caylee, Missy, Greg and Natalie in front

Greg is our gay friend who just couldn't say no to a night out with the ladies. He is pretty darn hilarious. He showed up driving a vintage, BEAUTIFUL caddie with a boa scarf. I nearly bawled it made me so happy.

Seriously love these girls so much it hurts somewhere deep in my gizzards...I've heard it called a heart. I don't really know how to respond to not going to the same place with these same girls most days of the week. Literally since May 2010 I have spent hundreds and hundreds of hours with these ladies and they know me on a strange level that no one else does actually. How do you really sum up such a life altering experience or describe such phenomenal, INSANELY beautiful women? Whitman, Twain, Frost! Help me for heaven's sake!!

Needless to say we are doing all we can to drag the last few hours of the training into about another month or so. We have some neat business ideas and if anyone is interested in doing this training I just did, let me know, Natalie is starting another one in February.

Avenues yoga. Coolest studio.

As far as for my personal yoga endeavors, they are as follows:

I have been teaching at The Cancer Wellness House for a couple months now. I love it there. The people are so sweet and non-judemental of my amateur teaching skills. They let me pretend I'm a yogi and I leave feeling validated and hopefully they don't leave wishing they were doing another round of radiation instead of yoga with me.

I am going to be teaching at a correctional facility!! That's right! PRISON BOUND AM I! No one has ever said that with so much enthusiasm I'm pretty sure...I hope. I will soon be volunteer teaching at a female correctional facility in the greater SLC area. I don't really know how to describe it, but I've always had an odd fascination with prisons. Since I was pretty young I always wanted to go in and just talk to the inmates, see what it is they are learning while they are in there, what sort of stuff they would do if they could, who the best cig pimps are, etc, etc. jk kids, jk. But I really have always been darn interested and when Natalie told me she had a connection I jumped on it. I'm working out the details still, but I'll keep you updated. Or I at least have good intentions of doing so.

THANKSGIVING:

Ok, enough yoga tears. On to my literal favorite holiday, well, the widely spread, widely celebrated ones anyway (cause you are lying if National Ice Cream Day isn't your favorite day of the year). I love thanksgiving. It's simple. It's sole purpose and angle is F-O-O-D. Food. That's it. Well, I suppose family is tossed around in there somewhere in the more guilty of consciences, but food is the reason for the season and I love it. I do love the whole fam getting together too, even if I am the one that gets beat up majority of the time. Can't wait to pass that torch on to one of the nieces or nephews someday....it keeps not happening though.

As per tradition we go shooting and eat pie during thanksgiving day. I, due to my passive and gentle nature, rarely find the firearms within my reach. In most honesty, I usually am just too busy eating all the pie and BS-ing with peeps to care about the technique filled sport. Plus I hate that blasted kick that comes when you shoot. It makes me mad at the gun, and when you get mad at the gun you are only starting a losing battle. The gun always wins in those fits.

Uncle Kelly and Matt

Cute little Aschcroft clan

My redneck family thinks the fact that I am a yoga loving hippie in liberal SLC is HILARIOUS. Seriously, nothing gives them more joy than a couple Subaru and Obama jokes.

So, we thought it would be funny to have me do some yoga poses with the gun. Beautiful irony.

Melissa and I made a rating system for the shooters. Not every little girl can make it to the Olympics to be judged on her leotard and hair flipping, but we can do our best to improvise.

Rating system went like this: 0 = the 0 is a peace sign with things like obama, 99%, Oust The 2nd Ammendment written on it to prove that you belong with me and the other weirdies up north and should no longer disgrace a gun.

5 = Don't Quite Your Day Job

8 = Almost Great

10 = Mark Walberg Status (movie reference, "Shooter.")

Pappa Bruce

We had no fun and survived on flavorless chewing tobacco and pioneer seeds the whole time. Scouts honor

When it comes to guns, we maintain the game face

Things got a little bit more rednecky as the day progressed. Matthew went ahead and brought some sort of explosive stuff you put in a can and the boys then proceeded to wrap a few up together and put them on top of a pyramid of pumpkins. It was the fourth of July for rednecks everywhere. A salute to the country proud if you will.

And how cute is this little turd?

My former roommates at Catfish's (my current roommate) Sweaters and Nog party. Lee is back in H-town and Judy is moved out. The saddness of these two truths is too much to bear and I will not go into further detail at this time.

CHRISTMAS:

Only bummer about being a semi-big kid is that I don't get to come home for weeks on end in-between semesters and lay in the luxury of warmth, free living and the biggest source of homesickness....Linnie's cooking. But I did get a few days of the warmest Christmas ever in the most beautiful place a kid could ever be raised. The older I get the more and more I realize what a rarity southern Utah is. It's amazingly diverse landscape the never-ending list of outdoor adventures. My dad always says, "you could live here your whole life and not even begin to see half of the beautiful scenery it has to offer." I think I'm starting to catch what you're puttin down pops. Amazing.

I, like the rest of the honest American population, must admit to seeing the occasional fashion blog. Now, I'm wondering if mine could be a hit. Sweats, sports bras, ripped jeans and tank tops....what do you think? In huge demand? Thought so.

LOOK WHAT SANTA BROUGHT ME! Best Christmas ever. I literally make a few smoothies a day and put all sorts of impossible-to-blend-in-any-other-blender stuff in them just cause I can. Such a happy day. Plus Snowshoes to boot. It was a successful year.

My very best friends. We are lookers, eh? This was a couple weekends before Christmas and it was windy as heal. Me and tan sat cozy in the Rhino while Erica and Kwaz froze their cute little buns off. They're both made of muscle, my remorse and guilt is minimal.

Speaking of the adorable Erica, I would like to introduce you to the beautiful creature that is my bestie with a small chestie. She had some pretty intense braids going on there for a while.

So, when the time came that they were getting too grody to maintain, we had a lovely Sunday evening of taking out the wretched things.

The horror and beauty all at once is the result of aforementioned evening. Don't be alarmed. No one was hurt in the making of these photos.

Look how happy she looks!

It's not human. It's not animal. It's one of those things we will have to ask about when we get to the pearly gates I fear.

NEW YEARS:

I loved the few weeks of snowless spring time winter. It was heaven. I am glad it snowed, I was able to take my snowshoes out just last night in a full moon mountain hike that rocked my socks off. So, me and snow are no longer out to kill each other. We prob still will, but it will be with less bitterness and rage. But on New Years I took advantage of the warmth and trekked up Millcreek and spent a beautiful afternoon with the mountains. I've been going a lot of places solo lately. I've had a lot of epiphanies on the subject. I really like being alone. This is a very recent development. I used to hate being alone, at any time of day. I hated it. But now I find myself becoming more and more happy with just the company of myself. Yoga helped a lot with that, but also just going out and experimenting with it. Not even just being alone, but going to social settings by myself. I almost always have a friend, or several to have my back and act as my fall back if I find the situation even the least bit non-stimulating. But I find I am far more prone to invest in my fellow humans when I have no one of comfort to resort to. It's been an interesting little self, social experiment I've been running with myself. I'm still no Alex Supertramp, I like the humans, but I do like this new progression of becoming darn good friends with myself.

I'm embarrassed at the amount of self portraits in this post. But I feel like I can't delete them. Dilemmas.

New years eve was a blast with a TON of dancing, as it should be. I felt completely satisfied and pooped by the end and was eternally grateful. I went to three separate parties and danced until I was dizzy at all three. Most were meant to have dancing originally. I feel bad about nothing.

Another cool thing about my lone adventures are my slc walks. I love where I live, particularly because I am close to all cool parts of town: sugarhouse, downtown, yale/harvard area, university. All of these within walking distance. So, lately I've been just wandering about on walks and finding neat things and going into stores I've never noticed before and meeting interesting new people. I found this house on my walk yesterday and loved it. Picture captured and shared with you cool cats.

My good friend Megan went ahead and went into labor last friday, so I got to have a play date with her adorable son JP. He is the cutest little punk. We spent the day at the Museum of Natural History. Pretty neat new building they built. Totally recommend it as a SLC hot spot.

Well, that's it folks. Nothing too exciting I suppose. Oh, I started school again today, just one class to get ready for grad school and it is literally the hardest class of my life, just in the first day. Nice, eh? It feels good to be back on campus though, I missed it. Hope all is well in your lives! I love my life and feel pretty darn good about existence. Not too shabby, I'd say.

I've just realized I'm using the mountains as a substitute for any and all male suitors....Uh oh.

2011-11-07T20:45:00.000-08:00

Wow, in all sincerity I'm not exactly sure how to just dive on into this pictoral novel I just technologically barfed up. I went ahead and did it again, I waited 5 or so months before I decided my life was worth documenting. Pardon my french, but dammit, eh? Oh well, I suppose it is the flu/cold season, and say that you feel that terrifying itch in your throat, that preemptive ache surging through you skeletal system, deep into your marrow and you fraudulently try and reassure yourself by saying, "no worries, I went and got that paralyzing flu shot. I'm free sailing." We both know it's a lie. So, nevertheless, let's say this unfortunate hell is creeping upon you and you all of a sudden start taking inventory or your movie/book selection. Rats, you've already exhausted all seasons of Parks and Recreation and you're too heavy-laden with pride to pop in Twilight or Gossip Girl for another go 'round. You've found yourself in a sad state to say the very least, and your tan is fading fast, to add one more check on the wrist-slitting list. I know, I've made you feel like you just emerged from a 2 hour George Orwell stint. But, alas!! I'm here to help! I've gone ahead and written this blog that will take at least 4 tissue boxes, 5 herbal teas and 47 cough drops (if you're like me and suck at sucking on the lil buggers). So, I guess what I'm trying to say....you're welcome:). I'm going to try, yet again to do minimal explaining and just let the pics say the words. How often have my fingers allowed my typing voice to be hushed? I can't think of one on the spot. So, hur goes.

As per recent tradition, I am going to give you a glimpse into what is going on. Right now. In this very moment this is how I look and what I want to portray to the world.

Also currently, I have my annual cough again!! Let me see your 'whoo whoo' hands! If you have known me for...really any period of time over a few months you have probs been introduced, rather brutally and abrasively to my cough. I get it nearly every year (I had a 3 or 4 year hiatus, for which I am very grateful. I'm pretty sure the church was truer during that time). Anyway, it's annoying and loud and there is no cure that I am currently aware of. Docs are baffled. I'm sore and the rest of the world is unified in annoyance.

Current cough drop of choice

Daylight saving's time came without warning and without preparation on my part. I already have a struggle sleeping in on the days that I so eagerly prepare for it. Come Sunday I found myself bright-eyed and bushy tailed (where does the bushy tail-ness come in to all of this? Is a woodland creature, the only creatures I can think of with bushy tails, really demonstrating an extreme amount of happiness through a bushy tail? I've yet to see it....in my many dealings with the squirrel population). It was around 7 am and it was snowing outside. My plans to go for a walk were dashed. Then it just happened. I got online and I bought things. I haven't the means for this kind of impulsion. Curse you WorldWideWeb. Curse you.

I bought this print. I love this local artist. I've been eyeing her stuff for a while.

http://www.hueandhum.com/

Pretty sure I've already gone berserk about this woman's original version of this book I found at a yard sale. This is the revised version. Considering the first one was published in 1990, I fig it was a good idea to update my lit'rature.

Oh and I finally found my future ranch/farm. I love this new blog treasure:

http://longestacres.blogspot.com/

http://icelandicbutterflies.tumblr.com/

Now we start from the BG, or beginning as other humans call it. Back over labor day me, judy, lee, lauren getch, tierra D, jake phillips, catfish (caitlyn), and bridger all went up to kolob and played. It was a magical trip. This pic signifies one of the many happy moments on so-said trip. We did the cabin/music/s'mores/good convo/rapping thing and then the next day we went to Zion and hiked the Narrows and then ate amazing food.

Epic night of bike riding, long boarding, slurpees, and individual interpretations of yoga. Gash I miss warm nights.

Bridger just let go of my bike, I'll not have my hard work go unnoticed and pretend he was just 'keeping up.' Heavens no.

Just a phenom pic of lee. It literally says everything you ev need to know about her. Describes her perfectly.

Lifestyle shot of me, bridge and catfish.

Ok, I'm just going to warn you. I have a deep, passionate love-affair with the mountains. We love each other and unlike Rose to Jack, I will never let them go. So, while one or two mountain excursions would seem plentiful to document, I have documented quite a few. I have also left quite a few out. But if I'm going to be accurate in how I've been spending my time then this flood of nature-lovin is more than justified. Pardon my defensiveness....but you'll see why.

I love where I live. I love Utah. I didn't always. I always loved Hurricane and how I grew up, but I always ached to live elsewhere, greener places, more water, things like that. But as I get crazy mature;), I realize that I could live here forever. I hope to live other places and travel till I'm cremated into a nice pot on my offsprings mantel, but I love Utah. I think it is one of the most beautiful places on earth and has the most diverse surroundings out there. I was driving home recently and I sincerely started getting teary-eyed at how beautiful every single new turn was. No, I'm not pregnant. Just touched. And grateful. I love the mountains, sorry if I sound redundant. Every time I think I need to show myself that I love myself, I take myself there. I feel like I give my soul a hug when I'm up hiking. I think we need to work on doing things that make us feel embraced by ourselves, loved by this person who is consistently judging our every move, thought, idea, sense. Sorry, tangent. Anyways, I've found what does it for me and I hope not to forget too soon.

Hike up East Canyon.

Judy is my usual go-to adventure buddy. I love having a gamer around all the time. She's the only person who is similar enough to me to say yes to stuff. I love just being able to say, "judy, hike?" or "Judy, dance party?" and having her say, "of course." She will be the funnest, happiest and most intellectually stimulating wife for someone someday. Sam, you're a luck SOB.

Random hike up Big Cottonwood

There were this huge, weird dry dandelion looking things that made me feel like I was in a Dr. Seuss novel. It was less horrifying than I'd imagined.

Speaking of dance parties. Dancing is another thing that makes me feel like I just gave my soul a massage. This is pic is so great for so many reasons. Here is where our inspiration for this night came from:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YJmRAieU9AI

Lamb's Canyon. Little secret treasure on the way to Park City. We were about 2 weeks too early for leaf change-age, but it was still amazing.

My name is Catfish Ellis. And I'm a Mormon.

Judy sketching

Best roommate sitch yet to be discovered

Trip to Bear Lake:

We decided to up and bike around Bear Lake. I had just bought my new bike, which I LOVE. Yes, I'm an pesky slc biker. Not the legit kind who is way good or anything, but I love biking, so much. I can't wait till I'm done hacking my intestines out my esophagus so I can bike around the city again. Anyway, we woke up at the anus of dawn, after all of us forgetting to get any sleep, and loaded up. We met catfish's friends awesome spencer and his gf up there.

Awesome spencer and his gf had serious bike issues the whole way. Poor tykes.

One of...nay, who am I kidding, THE BIGGEST motivator for us finishing was the raspberry shakes at the end. They did not disappoint.

Catfish says so much here.

Concerts:

Back when it was warm we were hitting up quite a few concerts, many of them in the great outdoors. This one was amazing and in a beautiful location. It's a little trail I run up in the Harvard/Yale area. Luke's band Mateo played and Libbie Linton, of whom I'm a new and ever-growing fan.

http://www.libbielinton.com/

Kristen and Kylee. Disgustingly pretty, right?

Bub's Wedding

Ol bub, aka Abby went ahead and got herself hitched. It was such a perfect day for a wedding and the venue was beautiful. It was somewhat hilarious because, no offense to my avid Enoch city readers, but the road to this beaut was not exactly romantic. We passed a 'BULLDOG'S MEATS' right before the turn. On their honor they will grind what you hunt. Can't ask for a better deal, I'd say.

Bub looked so pretty. I often think when girls get really gussied up they actually end up looking worse (i.e. proms, weddings, quinceneras, what have you). But she honestly looked stunning.

The ring bearer. He was just happy cause he got to walk up the aisle with a gun.

My main man Gus and Gramps. He is so tiny and so bloody cute.

What?! Another mountain? Weird. This has never happened before! My uncle Kelly always says that when he flagellates. "Oh my goodness! I've never done that before!" It sucks that I laugh at that dumb one every time. Enabler.

Millcreek is one of my very favorite canyons. I run Pipeline trail quite a lot and this is one of those glorious trips. I love it cause it's a fairly trying run, but you don't notice it. Then you stop and hike a ways and you get major pay off. Maybe it's just the 'STOPPING' part that I like. Jury's still out.

Neff's Canyon:

Bridger revealed this little jewel to me and I will not, cannot admit my gratitude to him. It's too painful. Bridger is our apartment boyfriend by the way. We bring him around when we feel like the apartment is either low on testosterone (let's be honest, we aren't exactly the definitions of feminine so that is rare), or we are dying to talk to someone else besides each other about menstrual cycles and cute fellas. Poor Bridge.

What?! Did I just sneak a little Montana into this scene?! That's right! Tan tan the miracle man is home and kicking. I'm so happy to have all the Blerma gals back in the same state. We have hung out quite a bit actually and we are getting more and more elitist about our friendships. We better get married soon....we are way too close to marrying each other and moving into a big house decorated only with Gryffindor memorabilia.

Millcreek Take 2: Autumn version

My good buddy Jeni is easily one of my favs to exercise with. We have a lot of fun and like to work out about the same intensity/amount. It's nice to have a counterpart in that realm. Way convenient.

What's the meaning to life chelle? Don't worry tiny feather, all in good time....all in good time.

See what I mean? She's great. Also disgustingly pretty. I've got to get new friends.

Mona: An Excursion of Epic-Ness

During one of those magical weekends when Me, Tan, Er, Lee and Judy were all in the same place, classy ol eric decided we should go to the Mona swings. This was not too long ago. I mean, fairly recent. I remember it like it was yesterday. What I'm trying to say is that it was cold. Shaving your legs was a useless heartache sort of cold. But it was seriously so fun. Once we actually got in it wasn't that bad. Tan is still the best thing that's ever happened, but that mish toughened her up a bit and the once scared of her own shadow Jolley is now this new, "I'll try it!" machine. It's amazing and I'm way proud of her. She has the best heart and funniest disposition of anyone I know.

Because it was Eric's idea, we were all allowed to be B's about everything and make her do all the hard work.

Judy braved the tallest platform. Tan nearly bawled as she did it. I felt no fear. Who knows, maybe I secretly want Judy dead. Oh well, eh?

Work cinderella, Work! The stick was our hopeful way of the rope without getting into the freezing water. It was mildly successful.

Right after lee braved the plank.

I wish you could see this pic better. Tan's face is worth every dollar I never earn. She was so scared but she did it. That tiny cowboy did it.

I'm seriously friends with all those cool girls. I promise I bribed someone in heaven, so don't feel bad. I'll pay sorely later, I'm sure.

The first video is mostly worth watching for the dialogue going on in the background. oh, and sorry about the noisy wind.

My whole family. That's right, the whole slew of Ballard breeding was at home recently. Kip, Alli, Bringhurst crew, Wilsons (minus Adam...I knew we there was something more attractive about our bunch ;) jk adam), The Scotts, Kyle/Em and Gus, Tyson and Veronica and insy, weensy ol me. I just kept going from room to room, recounting everyone, not way sure if it was real. I love my family and being the youngest can only vaguely remember the times when all of us were around.

My mom has more energy than a meth-induced hyenia. Fact. Tossing around babies like they are a hot potato hacky-sac is one of her many characterizing traits. The kids love it. Now that we are older and seeing how she flips them around it's funny to see the looks on the sisters faces as their offspring barely escape death.

Linnie, Melissa and April's two girls came up and played with me for a day and a half. We had a ton of fun. Those girls bossed us into anything and everything they wanted. They have a gift. Sent from which source is the question....

We went up to Park City and went wanted to do the big slide, but instead there was a rollercoaster. I figured it would be bootleg, but it was tons of fun. The tinies win again.

Best pre-big drop face ever

My parents are building a cabin in Blue Springs. It's very exciting and ol Brucey boy has found his reason for taking in life-giving oxygen. Those boys have been working so hard and they have pulled off an insane amount in a short amount of time. I swept the floors once, so I figure they'll prob insert a yoga studio inside just for me. I don't think I dream too big, I dream with purpose we'll say.

Look at ol Bruce, the definition of manliness.

Little Cottonwood:

Last mountain memoir, promise. This was my most recent meet-n-greet with mother nature, before mother nature took a wintery dump on us. Eloquent much chelle? Yes, I think so. It was everything I could have ever wanted.

Sam and Judy

Too bad myspace is basically out of biz, once I get the kissy mouth down I would be so golden.

I can't help myself, I already posted a lot of these on fb, but I love this progression of pics. Judy was trying to cross the river...for the ump-teenth time. We decided trails were for the less than Jeremiah Johnson of us. She ran into a pickle.

They debate the prospects, their inevitable dilemma

They try stuff

Victory!!!

What self-respecting polygamist gentleman wouldn't be chopping down the forest to marry these lil lass's. I know, I'm shocked at the void as well.

Other things I have been filling my time with:

Campus Garden:

I started helping harvest at the campus gardens and I loved it. Amazing humans run the thing. And the free produce didn't suck either. I'm a sucker for free produce. I fear what I will one day compromise for free tomatoes.

Judy's art work

Yoga:

Could it be my blog if I didn't talk about yoga? It really is all I do. I work for Reporters Inc part time and the rest of my life is dedicated to this 500 hour certification. It's just us 4 gals now, Emily and Michael who were in the 200hr in the beginning of the summer only come on Thursdays now. I feel inadequate to talk about how lucky I am to be doing what I do every day. We better our bodies, discuss thoughts, go on excursions, make vision boards, cry together, laugh an insane amount together and eat phenomenal food every day. I love these girls with all my heart and if I think about how it's all over in January I will and always do cry. This training and Yoga has changed my life. I'm a completely different person and I have no idea how it all happened. I have to write a bio for some teaching I'm doing and I was having a hard time, so I just started word vomitting in my notebook. I kinda wanna share what I wrote. It's pretty intensely mushy and bawl-city, but it's very honest and I think it explains how I feel a tad.

My vision board. Not quite finished.

Prenatal yoga

Pool yoga. I know, we fight the man, and we fight him hard.

My teach. Natalie. She's way cooler than I could ever write. She's helped me and pushed me more than anyone I can remember.

These are the gals I spend 5 hours most days of the week with. They are so fun and we care about each other so deeply.

I'm starting to volunteer

here: http://www.cancer-wellness.org/

and

here: http://greentreeyoga.org/

Fyi: Yoga with kids is the funnest experience you'll yet have.

Anyway, here is my little novel on yoga:

Yoga has changed the way my mind works, the way my bodyexperiences the world. Before, my feelings and emotions were closely monitoredand heavily judged. Now, my mind feels, my body explores, driven by curiosityand desire to explore my own perceptions. I studied exercise and sport scienceand nutrition at the University of Utah. Being active and playing have been mypassions for as long as I can remember. I began doing yoga about three years agoto become a better athlete, as a means to an end. I wanted to improve myflexibility and general athletic capacity. I felt no spiritual urgency, no needfor healing or for a savior, but I understood that my energetic, playful naturecould use some sort of “Zen-like” activity. So I started at square one. I havegone down some rocky roads with myself, slowly getting to know a few harshrealities, some of these made present simply by breathing. Add movement,visualization, and mantras to the mix and you can imagine the beasts I faced. ButI smile, take a breath or two, and do it again the next day. Yoga helps me findpeace within the raw thoughts, curiosities, and emotions of being one of thesehumans. Yoga asks me to sit with myself, to be honest, to speak, to be silent,to be peaceful without expectation, to listen to the beauty of expression, nomatter its form. And in the end some postures are still flat-out hilarious, butas I laugh, yoga heals me, and I didn’t even know I needed healing. Yoga saves. I believe it and I trust it and that’s why Iwant to share it.

Animorphs and Captain Von trapp

2011-08-22T08:24:00.000-07:00

Has it been since Nam'? I believe it has. I must say I haven't really missed the blogging world, until I re-visited it again, out of sight out of mind sort of thing, kind of like siblings;). To be completely honest, my very intriguing world, according to myself, has been turned upside down as of late. When those cheesy Young Woman's lessons happen and they tell you, "you're coming up on the most transformative time of your life," those cowards weren't lying. I am experiencing so much change and transformation every day. I feel like I'm one of those books with the creepy illustrations in tween sections of the library - 'animorphs' or whatever they're called. Yoga is changing everything and I'm so glad to be doing it every day. We are continuing the training till December to get 500 hour certified. I love the peeps I do it with so much. It's a lot of hours but I look forward to it tons. Can I bend like a twisty, bob-cat pretzel (in the beautiful words of Sandra)....? No. I'm still shocked when one of my extremities can touch my other extremities. But I'm learning so much and my attitude of life and the world is changing pretty drastically. Not that I was ever a danger to myself with a razor blade and exposed wrists, but a lot of things are making a lot more sense. God bless yogis. If anyone is ever in slc, please come to a class. If I like you at all I promise I want to share this with you. Even if I don't like you, maybe if you did a tad more yoga I would begin to. Solid deal, right?

I am also so happy with this time of life. It's hard. I'm graduated, which is crazy weird. After going to school every day since I was 5 this is going to be a new transition. I'm excited for it, but I'm secretly resenting all those cuties that get to go to the U tomorrow and meet their new professors and make new friends. I love class. Homework can flush itself down the toilet, but class, class I love. I might just go and sit in on some classes if and when I have time.

I'm doing yoga, but I'm also doing Corporate Wellness up at the hospital for the OB/GYN department. I'm hoping to be employed here soon. It's taking some time, but I have pretty high hopes....I blame my mother for making me feel like I'm cooler than I prob am.

I have great friends. I know everyone says it, but I just do. I have my best friends from high school who I still would take 92 bullets for and I have new friends I'm making, especially right now. Judy is back from Italy and I could count the minutes we have been apart on one hand. I love my roommates, Caitlyn, Judy and Lee. I woke up today with all of them in my bed and then a dance party began and took over our morning. I'm a lucky bass. So many don't have close friends, I don't know who I swooned in heaven to have this many close, close friends who get me, but I'm so glad I did it. I'll blackmail them again if I have to to keep them for life.

So I'm going to just go ahead and picture vomit on you and attempt to keep the words to a minimum. Have I ever succeeded at that? Nay.

Practice, Practice, Practice.

This is the current moment.

Cute? Yes, all the fellas at church were eating their literal hearts out. Mormons....aren't ready for this jelly.

So me, Lee, Erica and Erica's fam dam all went to San Diego. Erica's dad has been working on a beach house and we, being the saints that we are, offered to come and 'assist' in the manual labor. It was great. San Diego isn't the suckiest place I can think of. It was right by the beach and so beautiful.

The view from the house

Me and Lee got our first taste at roofing. Literally, we tasted it, there was a lot of dirt, muck and other unidentified dusty things in my mouth. It was so fun. I was not meant to be born of the privilege that I am. I sincerely just want to roof and mow lawns the rest of my life. Give me a sombrero and less albino skin, I'm in.

The whole gang. The best part was that there was a roofing crew on a house next door with actual roofing fellas. Then there was just Allan and all us gals, dancing, singing and roofing so loudly. It was a pretty phenomenal sight.

One of the days we ventured out and saw the city.

We went to the mormon battalion museum, which you will get a wonderful dose of in a second. We then ditched ol Becky to chill with all her favorite dead people while we went to the piers and ate fish.

Just for cute measure.

Ignore erica, I'm showing the pic for the beautiful view from the restaurant.

How cute is this? Erica Jane, one of my favorite people on the planet, is a track star. Literally the fastest girl at our school and jumps like she should have been born in Africa. She is on the BYU track team even. I tell you all of this to adequately display how hilarious it is that she hates exercise. Hates it. She hates walking more than most people hate an eventful trip to the dentist. Knowing this throughout an extended period of time together, we knew we had an issue. Erica would whine. But lo and behold, due to the kind universe and heavenly presence that presides over us we found a wheelchair in the beach house. Just a random gift from the heavens hiding in the closet. So, of course we brought it and Erica gladly pretended to be a cripple and all were happy.

Funny story: Erica was being pushed by an obliging Leah when a curb jumped out of nowhere and Erica was tipped out of her wheelchair. Being an agile athlete she jumped up and recovered before she could eat pavement. When she gained composure a group of people gawked and one bike taxi man yelled, "It's a miracle!!! You can walk!!"

Yep, Lee is a pioneer. This was bar-none with the whole trip. The mormon battalion place was way cool, and lo and behold Lee and myself both have ancestors that were in it (Augustus, Gus's name sake). The tour was kind of like a Disney, interactive thing. God bless the sister missionaries that did it.....I'm assuming it's not their first choice. Just an assumption.

Lee was the volunteer.

It was like trying not to laugh when someone farts during the prayer. Impossible.

Mini photo shoot at the beach.

Walks in San Diego at night are great. Didn't hate it.

I call this one Battle of the Boobs. I will give you one guess at who won (sorry er)

Don't know why, but this one is my favorite. I'm really in to knees, I guess

Only thing missing is Montana. She get home from her mish on the 8th!! I can't wait to give her a noogie for each day she was gone.

Back to SLC. We have been going to a ton of phenomenal concerts. This one was of Luke's band Matteo at the library. We went to one last night in a beautiful park that I will tell about before another decade passes.

Bear Claus. These girls are so beautiful and so amazing. Kilby court has given me a few winners for which I will forever be grateful.

Terrible quality, but I have to prove I have friends. Caitlyn (catfish), Awkward spencer and stevie

Melissa and mommy came up and played with me recently, it was delightful and during our shopping adventures we found this book in the gardening and mommy section. Made my day....lies, made my week.

Went to my first Spanish Fork rodeo. Boy, was it magical. Jeb was a state champ wrestler there and you would have thought he was the mayor. He knew everyone and got us into everything for free. Made me feel like I was in H-town. Full of down home cowboys and peeps who still think the high school friday night football game is far more important than any 'congressional address.' Loved those people.

Jeb and Dan

I just wanted to post this pic to brag about my mother and her amazing gardening abilities. She graces our apartment with bountiful baskets fairly often. Her tomatoes are worth drooling over.

She went to her first slc farmer's market and her reactions didn't disappoint. She screamed louder about this big onion than any expensive christmas present I've ever seen her receive. My poor father, right?

I went to hurricane for basically ten minutes, or so it felt like, to throw Abby/bub a bridal shower. It was so much fun. Never has anyone received hotter lingerie...from her mother. It was a lot of fun. I have a ton of neat, funny, pervy ladies in my family. It was so fun and..informative?

too bad about me not having a hand, huh? I know, it sucks for me.

Caitlyn and I took our lesbian dates to our work party. We went to the Sound of Music at Sundance. Sundance is amazing. I've never been before and it was so beautiful. Me and Robert Redford might have future together, I'm now realizing. I loved the play as well. I don't really love the movie, don't hate me, but the play changed my opinion. The actors did a phenomenal job and the sing-alongs made me giddy.

Caitlyn and her date amandass

Me and my date Megan. She's the cutest pregnant chica ever. She was such a great date. Her poor husband and children might never get to play with her again if I have any say on the matter.

My other dear co-workers. Obviously intrigued with Maria and her quirky nanny-ing habits.

True story: It began down pouring out of no where right as 'raindrops on roses,' started being sung. It was so funny and everyone stayed and laughed in the rain until it stopped. Being the wretched date that I am, I forgot to pack ponchos for an outdoor play in the middle of August. Weird. So, Megan, being the classy date that she was, dumped all of her belongings out of her purse and we used it as a make-shift umbrella. We were the talk of the crowd.

Moral? I'm happy. Things are going well. A lot is changing and I'm trying to adapt. Summers in SLC are so beautiful I wish it would never end. Concerts, farmer's market, bike rides, long boarders, spontaneous, outdoor dance parties. I mean really. It's just unfair that some people have to grow up and give their soul to 'The Man.' I hope he never finds me. I'll literally create a real Hogwarts if I sense he is about to.

oh, ps, I need teaching hours for yoga, so if any of you humans need a yoga class for any reason, I'm free and need the hours. So hire me? Ok. I'll even do it for free, I like doing it, but we'll say it's cause I'm a christian.

Among the living

2011-08-14T11:12:00.000-07:00

Blog post coming soon. I'm alive. I'm well. I'm coming back with a vengeance. Stay tuned

22.5 and The Book of Love

2011-06-15T07:34:00.000-07:00

So, today was my new birthday. Don't worry, I forgive nearly all of you for forgetting, it was the first time it's come around. I don't like February, it's a bootleg month. Thus, with much consideration and deliberation I changed it. June 15th I decided was a phenomenal date. It was between that and September...both solid months. So, from here on out I will be celebrating the life and existence of ME in June, not February. But if you insist on remembering the 'technicality' of my literal birth having been in February, then I suppose I will forgive you and allow you to celebrate both.

Last night Megan and myself ditched the boys and her tiny tot and headed to Julia Mecham's CD debut/mission farewell show. Luke, my dear friend and one of the neatest humans yet to inhale on 2 legs, played on and recorded her album. She was amazing. Her voice was awesome, but best of all was her song writing abilities. It's neat that I know so many chicas with great musical abilities, empowering...even if I can't carry a tune.

We all crammed into this house in the aves and she and Luke gave us a great show

One of my favorite, I mean absolute favorite things about a show is the crowd. I sometimes forget to listen to the music because I get mesmerized by the people there, how they are responding to the music and just the different varieties of people that show up.

Roomies. Cute Chels

My date Megan.

I walked out of the library to find a double rainbow. You can't really see it in this crap-hole pic, but believe that it happened and was great. I also found a leprachaun and rode a unicorn to my car. Total Karma for studying, thank you very much!

p.s. She played one particular cover that I can't get out of my head and I fell in love with. Also check out her whole album on band camp

http://juliamecham.bandcamp.com/

http://tangentialmeanderings.blogspot.com/2010/02/book-of-love.html

Buckle up boys, girls and all those lady gaga fans who aren't sure .....this is gonna be a long one

2011-06-12T10:10:00.000-07:00

Wowza, so this little update has gone ahead and taken me all day to accomplish. I've read and reread the same material for my class about....~19 different times. Oh no, not the entire material required for my upcoming test, oh no, don't be fooled. I've reread the same page ~19 times as a result of being distracted by blogging and the ever disruptive and engaging world wide web. So, while I am undoubtedly going to fail my crucial exam, I have successfully updated the cyber world on my existence. You're welcome. I am a martyr and demand a gazillion comments full of sweet sentiments, such as, "rachelle, don't you worry, as a result of your blogging your failing grades and lack of degree certification will not inhibit me from hiring you and giving you a large sum of cash to live and play on - preferably doing yoga and running around outside with neat people all day." Nothing to specific, but that sort of thing will do.

Let me just update you on the current. I am so busy with Yoga, school and Corporate Wellness internships I have no time for breathing. I LOVE yoga so much. I'm addicted. I'll do another post about it soon, but just know I can't get enough and am inevitably going to probably try and shove it onto every human I know and care about...and if I don't care about you I will prob try and shove it on you anyway to make you more bearable and lovable. Help me if I start only speaking in sanskrit and stop shaving my pits. Thanks. I'm ready to be done with school, please pray I will pass my classes and be done in August. Seriously, it's that iffy :/

As a result of the pic overload I will keep my verbiage quick, snappy and to the point.

Here we are, currently, as current as we can get. I am right now at a cafe in slc (currently Nostalgia, earlier it was the lovely Cucina in the aves). I love this cafe, it has phenom art and the perfect selection of tunes. It makes me feel classy while maintaining it's very bohemian, unassuming vibe. God bless coffee addicts of the world for allowing me to benefit from their vast selection of cafe's, herbal teas and wi-fi.

Did I say I would keep it short...? I lie. It's a rotten habit. I'm going to quit.

Is that a lie? We'll never know.

Last night Senior and the Gibson clan all enjoyed some Bee's all-American baseball with a hint of Chinese inspired firework glamor. JP (Joshua Paul Gibson Junior - there are some other names in there somewhere, but lets be honest...4 is already rough on a scantron) enjoyed it, until the game went into 4 extra innings. Bed time was long past for him, and me to be honest. And the lack of clean diapers didn't help....for him, not me. Promise.

That adorable bow in my hair was provided by Megan. She's always trying to make me more lady-like. Such a cute endeavor, right?

Cute little munchkin.

We were trying to catch bugs. I actually don't think he knew what we were doing, he just liked grabbing at things and pretending we were squishing them.

I look a tad stoned here. I wasn't. Try and believe me. I don't like admitting that I look like that naturally, believe me.

Salt Lake summers are amazing. I keep trying to remind myself, "Chelle, the winters are NOT worth it!" But with how stellar the summers are here I have no doubt I will probably forget and endure another 8 month hell for the 3 months of bliss here in our State's capitol.

Nevertheless, movies in the park are back and we attended to watch Despicable Me. I loved it. Is that surprising? Nay. I love most hilarious cartoons, and some of the not hilarious ones.

I started playing indoor soccer again. Below is the result. Swollen ankle and a pair of delicious blood blisters on the toes. I am what single male dreams are made of I tell ya.

Farmers Market is here!!!! I'm so happy I could and have peed a little. It is bar-none my favorite thing about this city and it only got better when these puppies were there, for sale and dying for me to love them till they hated me.

Such amazing produce and jewelry and humans. I stayed for a few hours. It makes me so happy. If you haven't experienced it, please do. I feel I was meant to be a missionary for the FM. Come my children and feast on the literal feast at Pioneer Park every Saturday for the summer. It will fill your bellies and rejuvenate your spirits.

Kolob:

A couple of weekends ago Senior and I ventured on down to the So. Ute and experienced my favorite place currently in existence (besides Kauai), Kolob. It was great fun and Abby allowed for the peak of entertainment when she let the man-children play in her vehicle and get it stuck. No biggie, it was just a 3 hour ordeal. The man-children were thrilled and beaming by the end.

Faithful spectators Mel, Me, Brooks and Meg

The league of extraordinary red-neck gentleman.

She was reeeeaaaalllly stuck.

Me and the cute little turd Brooks

I don't know how to explain this. Mary Lu was involved. Is anyone shocked?

Celebratory dance = truck is unstuck.

I'm going to submit this to the Awkward Family Photo book.

Visit to the Wilsons:

If you have access to Summer's blog, then you have already seen this, and seen it done better. What a relief. But for those few who know me and not my sisters, here is a sub-par photo journey of my mother's and my travels to the Golden State.

These are out of order, fyi.

Ava after our girls night out on the town. She got totally pampered and was so funny the whole time. You can tell she doesn't get out much without the other tinies...or out much period.

Noah found his new best friend in Linnie. They built a fort and played all day every day. His fort was a pretty big deal.

We spent a day in San Fran. Much better go around than my last visit. No pneumonia or hospital visit to report. Wait, that's a lie, Ava had to go to the hospital and I got the flu the last night. If ever I thought about moving to California, my last hope was squished...very squished, beneath a pile of vomit and hospital smells. Sorry for the visual.

Summer and her sprouting class. It went very well and the food was delish.

Back to San Fran, this is us looking at the smelly sea lions.

Summer and Ava at Girls Night Out.

Noah looking at Alcatraz.

Restaurant from girls night out. Wow, the efficiency at which I uploaded these is mind boggling.

How cute are these little punks?

Ava's hair in the morning i s nothing short of phenomenal.

I always want to salute when I see it, I think she looks like George Washington in the morning.

Cute little fam.

Walking the pier

I LOVE the streets of San Fran. We didn't get to see tons, but I love how they look, the houses, the hills, the freaks that live in them. Great things.

Cheese nut.

We also drove up Highway 1 and went to the coast, it was amazing. There was an ashram we went and investigated that I am pretty sure I am going to go hide away in for a while.

I forgot to upload those pics, but I'm pretty sure we will all survive.

Departures:

Judy left right after I left. Saddest day. Only minutely sadder than major tragedies such as Princess Di's death, Hurricane Katrina, World War II, etc.

These two cuties are also off the Brazil then Florida where Gavin will go to grad school. I love Barb and Gav so much, they are such an endearing couple. They look marriage look like it wouldn't be absolute hell. Kudos guys, kudos.

U2:

To document I will leave you with one concrete statement that sums up the experience:

BONO is nothing short of superhuman and I would kill to have his superhuman children.

FACT

Terrence and Rachel Riggs, our concert buddies.

Ok, so one more thing, the stage was amazing. I have no clue how they set that up in a day, but no doubt Bono did it alone and didn't break a sweat.

Camping:

Senior took me camping last weekend. It made me so happy. I've been dreaming, daydreaming, pretending, indulging mind movies about camping ALL WINTER. Needless to say I was over the finally visible moon about it.

We went up in the Uintahs, about a half hour passed Kamas and it was the most beautiful, ideal camping spot. I can't wait to take a load of peeps and have a wonderful camping party up there. What? I need friends to do that?! Harsh crowd, harsh.

I'm determined to get into widdling. Matt doesn't believe me. Wait, just you wait. I'll convince him and the rest of you soon enough. Don't be surprised if your next Christmas gift is a serene, wooden duckling sitting on your porch. Just sayin.

I know, right? So great.

Senior made, I repeat MADE us play dominoes for an absurd amount of time. He also made up most of the rules. It was not my finest hour(s). He thought I was cheating so he put all of the dominoes in the pan where he would hold it up and I would have to strain to grab them, to ensure I couldn't see what I was getting. Extreme much?

This is literally just for Abby. Sorry bub, matt thought he was insanely funny.

Wow, have you ever met a tree or mountain you couldn't conquer mysterious lumber jack?

No, no I haven't. How did you know?

Rainbows and Drag Queens:

Right after camping, as in we drove directly to the Trax station, we decided it was essential that we go see the Pride Parade downtown. Literally,.....well, honestly there are no words. I can't even begin to describe the spectacle seen. You just need to experience it yourself. I did loooove imagining my brothers-in-law Ty and Matt being there, oh how their jaws just would have dropped.

This is part of the 'It's Raining Men' float.

The actual float, can you see the little umbrella with Ken dolls hanging from it? Seriously amazing. I left feeling.....I don't really know the word, so I will just let silence and photos do the talking.

And that's about it folks. I have nothing more to report at this time. Thank you and God bless.

beautiful days

2011-05-15T11:42:00.000-07:00

I have had three days of freedom. The literal do-what-I-want/constantly reminding myself I don't have homework I 'should' be doing kind of freedom. It has been surreal and amazing. I mean I have been working, but that doesn't count. Plus, my job isn't too hard, we eat amazing food and the gals are neat....maybe I shouldn't admit all those thangs, cause if ever I want to bawl about my big-girl miseries you kids will call me out for the fraud that I am. Disclaimer: I will always have a hard time working as a result of the at least 6 ideas constantly running through my head that would be insanely fun for peeps. Seriously, always. Does everyone have that syndrome?

Thus I digress. But I have read three books this week and it has been seriously marvelous. But better than that I have hung out with Jessica Judy Gilmore (I'll write more about that later, I love that gal and will bawl if I write about her leaving right now) and listening to phenomenal music while taking absurdly long walks through the city.

I mostly thank the two Kylees (Ky5 http://kyleerowley.blogspot.com/ and Kylee Gubhttp://kyleegubler.blogspot.com/) for always posting good tunes for me to steal and fall in love with.

Here's some that have given me that slight, euphoric smile as I trapse through the city in full spring time bloom.

Next to Me - Sleeping at Last

Welcome Home - Radical Face

Take Care - Beach House

The Story - Brandi Carlile

The Girl from North Country - Bob Dylan

Older Brother - Peter Rabbit

Stay or Leave - Dave Matthews Band

Mary Jane Shoes - Fergie (not a joke)

Grown Ocean - Fleet Foxes

(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pgv6dKV03dA&feature=related - coolest video)

Speak Well of Me - Weepies

Behind the Sea - Panic at the Disco

Heartbeats - Jose Gonzalez

Back Down South - Kings of Leon

One Voice - The Wailin Jennys

April Come She Will - Simon and Garfunkel

And lastly I think this gal is the neatest thing ever. She has been the newest source of inspiration for spontaneous dance parties in the basement.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pwnefUaKCb

An Ode to Michael Scott.....A True Hero (and other tidbits regarding my life)

2011-05-11T07:42:00.001-07:00

Well, here we meet again at this cyber dinner table, ready to feast upon the words that are my life, right? So, as assumed with any biped creature with any ounce of free thinking, where time as passed, things will happen and change. Thus, things have happened and changed in the past month or so. I have a butt-load (yep, butt-load is a word, I'm really starting to study for the vocab section of the GRE, I think I've got good chances), of pics to share. Seriously so many good ones of lees concert, friends, cool peeps I taught, etc. But they are currently on someone else's camera and that camera happens to be in Spokane....so sorry about the lack of photo and overcompensation of words.

But, thanks to Eli Daniel Wilson via Chelsea Stout's facebook login info (thanks chels) I have stolen the following photos from Leah's concert!

The concert was amazing. It has kind of turned into one of those things when after we all sat back and said..."that was actually pretty great." And when we got home it turned into, "Ya know, I can't believe how amazing everyone sounded! Like that was better than we all planned." And a few days later got to, "That was seriously the funnest night we have ever had since living here!" So who is to say how pivotal the night really was, but it doesn't matter anymore, according to

our very persuasive memory it was and will remain one of the best nights EVER!

Leah did so great. She even had a cold and was

panicked all day, but she did amazing.

Cowboys Aren't Indians. PHENOMENAL! Honestly, I have been singing two of their songs everyday since. The two lead singers are my good friend Barbara and her husband Gavin. The coolest couple evs. They are moving to Florida and this was their farewell show. I'm pretty glad I got to be a part of it.

Luke Williams, who you've possibly heard mention, sounded his very best. I have heard him at a couple of different shows, and I don't know what it was, but he has never sounded better. He chose his songs perfectly and captured the crowd wholly. Eli didn't video his song To Louis, and The World is Over, but it gave me chills and I have made him play it an exhausting amount since. He really is one of the coolest things I've discovered here in SLC.

(It was recently his bday and I made him one of my famous middle-school flashback candy bar posters. I'm hoping it will bind this friendship for life, whether it be from obligation or me being an insanely gifted stalker....we don't know, or care).

Leah and the gang literally never practiced this song and busted it out like they were Zeppelin or something. It was great. Particularly Judy's little frantic piano solo.

Enjoy the videos! (again thanks to Eli, solid brother)

Leah:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CktVEMyNY5g

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XSucyd2rDhs&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pn0iG1cRtWQ&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vfNNBKeXXo0&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D5TWsvHnOFA&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gPucYozGrz8&feature=related

Luke:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWhv5rDISJc&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=782UCh-ilL8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fTsa-lYNseY

Cowboys Aren't Indians:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rR5m5E6PBgA&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0To-mvf17k&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UUMwv5i4xXY&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35aX6NrDUFY&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rR5m5E6PBgA&feature=related

(sorry, videos don't upload on my blog for some reason. I slightly senile for technically being a part of a computer generation, but I have had other savvy humans try and they too failed, so bite me Zuckerburg).

On to other news:

I have completed another semester of school!

I have but one more until I am graduated....weird? I say yes

Annoying tidbit: Did you know universities only do commencement once a year? So if you wanna get your tears and yucky gown on and flaunt your wisdom for friends and family in a formal setting, you better hope you are done in May. Cause if not, you are walking either not graduated yet....which to me is a little bit of a joke, or you wait for a semester or two after you are already done with classes to re-live the actual excitement of completing. Dumb. Nevertheless, I did not walk with my fellow classmates this past week, I felt it would be too harsh a blow to start the 'remember-whens' with the peeps and then start school next Monday.

I did really like this past semester though. I made some amazing friends with the people I taught in indoor cycling and weight training. They made me feel like a million bucks and there may or may not have been some tears on the last day (and not even all of them were mine). Kudos to me for finally making friends at school, even if they are all over 50 yrs old.

I have one more left and I doing 2 internships and 2 online classes. I'm pretty excited slash nervous. The one internship is a yoga teacher training/body work program. It's going to be pretty physically intense and a lot of hours, but I'm putting my meat-head face on and ready to get my butt-kicked.

http://mindfulandembodied.com/

I will also be interning for the hospital as a corporate wellness guru. I will be creating a wellness program from 7 domains of health (physical, nutritional, intellectual, spiritual, etc). Basically an all encompassing program to better the health of the doctors/nurses/staff in the OBGYN/Gynecologic department of the University hospital. I'm mostly intimidated, but I plan on growing a mustache so they respect me instantly.

It's gonna be a crazy balls busy Summer, but as long as it eventually warms up, I'm happy.

Speaking of warm, this past weekend, before Noah-like rains decided to ruin my Spring happiness, it was delightful. I literally spent a day at Liberty Park playing soccer with Judy and reading in beautiful vitamin D rays. LOVE I tell you has never felt so real. We then hit up the institute dance and again, love and happiness filled my very core. Judy and I have been slaving away at our dance moves. Our current obsession: The Shuffle.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQ6zr6kCPj8

I am really gonna miss that Judy when she leaves. I'm pretty mad about it actually. Thursday night dance parties will never be the same. p.s. Thursday (leah's song) happens to be about our frequent basement dance parties. Default one of my fave songs.

But here is temp square from that weekend. It's from my phone, but it is SO pretty right now. Kudos mormons for your green thumb abilities.

Food Network came to town!! If there would ever be a reason for me to get cable, the food network would be it. They are doing this show/competition between food carts. All of these food carts from across the nation compete in various cities each weekend and each week a truck/cart gets eliminated. We went to the Cuban cart. They even had a DJ = had my vote.

Senior always gets me chocolate covered strawberries at the end of each semester. So, to repay the favor this semester I made him a book. If you are not an avid watcher of The Office this will not be funny to you, sadly.

It is titled "Somehow I Graduate." It is filled with my academic wisdom.

It is filled with helpful hints like:

*(these are all UofU specific)

"If ever in doubt of what to say in class, respond with 'Damn Bush Administration.' "

"When asked what you are studying, reply with, 'Suicide Bombing, there's only one test....and it's pass or fail.' You'll make no enemies this way."

"Always carry an extra #2 pencil. People always love the person during the test that has an extra pencil."

Dear Michael Scott, I will miss you dearly and The Office is a bust without you. Thank you for the years of laughs and quotes for which I was able to procure to any and every situation. You are a hero among the immature. You will be missed.

Oh, and I saw this downtown the other day at a stoplight. Made me chuckle.

Leonard Lindsey Makes Her Debut

2011-04-20T10:44:00.000-07:00

Hey there friends. So I will update with info and pics another day...or maybe I won't, I'm feeling utterly defunked on the whole documenting-my-existence sphere these days. However, one must put all woe-is-me's aside for the cause of something greater, something better, and always for something tastier. This, while not being edible will be a feast, I assure you.

For Leah Triggets Wilson is performing

April 28th (Thursday) in the year two thousand and eleven in the year of our lord.

This will be taking place in the downtown library of this states capitol city.

6:30-8:30pm.

Our dear friend Luke Williams (whom you may listen to slash research via his blog on the right) is also performing. He is seriously amazing. He plays instruments I've never heard of and makes them sound beautiful. Plus he's just neat and insanely likable.

Look at how he captures his easily won crowd:)

Also performing is Gavin Fellar and his dear wife (my former roommate) Barbara. Remember her from the treehouse days? I'm pretty much in love with these two. It's slightly weird because Gavin bares a slight resemblence to a high school version of dear Brucey boy.

Pics of them soon to come

Seer, the fire headed fro bruce resemblance is nuts

Betty....as my friends Sublime would say "You've seen better days"

2011-03-31T08:33:00.000-07:00

It was kind of a rough night.

Some kid, only a month post sweet 16 bday, thought he could turn left in front of on-coming traffic. Bless his heart. I wanted to be so sweet to him, cause when I smashed betty's grill last time it was my fault and the people were so nice to me I'm sure they've been translated.

No one was hurt, minus tiny tot's pride, naturally.

I'm mostly just sad because I love ol Betty, she has outfitted some of the best times of my life. Including but not limited to:

The stop-sign game (so many good dance moves from people you would not expect)
Car dancing in general....I really have been upping the ante on that lately, sad my progress will be cut short
Vocal practice (usually by myself. Another unabashed practice, fun for fellow drivers)
Many a late night drive
Many a late night chat (usually with Mike, we did so much talking about sooooo little)
Many a late night car chase after doing dumb pranks
Literally saying, "I bet it's in my car" prob 90 times a day
Too many trips out south that poor ol Betty was never meant to handle but braved beautifully
My first kiss
Many a solid bawl-my-eyes-out-snot-flying-freely episodes
Shoving the equivalent of four polygamist families in that max 5 seatbelt donned vehicle

I could go on and on, but I have just had so many good things happen with and because of that trusty lil gal. I'll miss her.

RIP and God Bless.

Funeral arrangements are being processed. Stay tuned for details.

Also check Chelsea Stout's blog for my most recent adventures. She has the pics....and the motivation.

sorta freakin me out

2011-03-16T22:27:00.000-07:00

Just signed up for my last classes till I graduate.....I'm feeling a tad weird slash excited....slash mostly weird.

ESS 4810 - Supervised Internship

pretty excited about this one

ETHNC 2500 - Intro To Ethnic Studies

ble...

NUTR 4440 - Adv Human Nutrition


	could be cool if it wasn't online.

You are all officially invited to see me in my cap and gown come end of Summer 2011 semester. I'm bound to throw a phenomenal party:)

You Run Like a Possessed Duck

2011-03-09T09:30:00.000-08:00

Hey there comrades!! Here I am again on my own, going down the only road I've ever known! As a drifter I was born to walk alone.....Yep, that little kareoke moment via the keyboard just happened. You can thank Whitesnake and the 80's for allowing a band like Whitesnake to A - be called Whitesnake, and B- for making it big. Which makes me also reminisce about today's spin class where zero, that's right, zilch students showed. At first I was sad, and then I realized that I would not sulk! Nay, I would spin on, as my good friend who had testicular cancer once said (I think our sorrows are comparable). So, I put on my playlist and I biked my heart out....and sung so loudly that a few people stopped and looked in the room. It was a really good playlist, you understand.

So I have quite a bit to update you on. Because I am a tad tired and a tad computer iliterate, I put the pictures from newest to oldest...this was not my intention. Spin on readers, spin on.

So as current as possible is pictured below:

I am currently at the libe, studying and feeling sorry for myself.

Let me explain.

Today, while interning at the strength and conditioning room I decided to go for a quick run before the baseball players showed up. Jon, the S/C coach began laughing. I assumed it was because I throw in the occasional dance move while I run depending on the song.

Nope

He told me that I run like a possessed duck.

Seriously

Him and my other intern Brad started analyzing my run and gait pattern. Jon told me I could come in for lessons if I wanted.

I did not feel consoled.

After, I played a quick game of racquetball with senior and I got my butt kicked. I hate fessing up to that, he is so annoying when he wins, and even more annoying when he loses.

So right now I am feeling very uncoordinated and nonathletic.

Farewell 3-sport athlete, your high school days are over, welcome to osteoporosis and mind degeneration.

But thus, I spin on

So, lately I have decided to be the mother that I miss so terribly here in SLC. The past few Sundays Senior and myself have made some amazing meals. I made my first roast (turned out pretty phenomenal, minus the whole roast part, the veggies and juice was divine). This past Sunday we made our own little creation of tomato soup. It was seriously SOOOO good. I'll give you the recipe if you ask, seer it was flippin good.

I'm not exactly a food photographer, so pardon the unappetizing photo, just trust me, it was good. Oh, and if you make it the savory loaf from Great Harvest is a must to go with it.

I love when people I really like are just around, like Luke and Judy. Luke is the nicest person and most talented person on the planet. If he asks me to marry him, I'll prob say yes, or at least I will adopt him as my son/brother/uncle, whatever.

Matt is a cholo. Cute.

We went to a yoga/meditation class taught by a fellow I met in the sauna. I told you I meet the most interesting people there. The other day I was in there and there was a person from Israel, Bulgaria, Spain and Brazil. I feel so cultured.

Anyway, my new friend philip gives an awesome yoga/breathing/meditation class. He is super smart and pretty enlightened, I think. The first class is free and it's donations after that, so if you are interested I will give ya the info, or look him up on FB, it's lifeforcepoweryoga.com

And thank you for watching QVC

Hawaii....need I seriously say more?

It was an amazing trip and I miss it already. Tys....ready to get hitched? In Kauai maybe? lets make it 3 out of 3 for the brothers.

Anyway, I don't take any photos, cause my sisters are usually on top of it. But the problem is when it comes to blogging life is rough.

The pic above is the pathway from the Kauai house to the beach 2 minutes away, you feel like you are on the safari cruise in Disneyland.

Bruce and Linnie contemplating buying a rental house in Kauai that I could keep for them.....

If you would like a more detailed day-to-day synopsis of our trip I recommend visiting kyle and emily's blog. She did a phenom job of documenting our trip whilst we were there. Gotta love her.

My henna. Something to consider permanently...? jk mommy, jk

This is the house we have stayed at in Kauai both times we went. I now feel like it's my house. I love it there.

Some of the highlights of the trip were:

Dancing at the wedding
Food at the bbq
Meeting kip and ali's funny friends
Searching for turtles with sisters while Mary Lu makes us pee our pants with her general perverseness and humor
Reading a non-text book (even if I didn't finish it)
Mine and Bub's runs in the warmth
Early morning sea shell and crab hunting
FINALLY scuba diving in the ocean!
Parasailing and getting dipped with dolphins!!
Watching tinies go berserk with their cousins
Beating Adam in tennis (so what if he used a 1920's racket and played in flip flops)
Sleeping....ah, how I miss it
Body boarding
swimming with turtles
again, amazing food
neat boutiques in hanalei
Bubba's burgers
Horse riding through the mountains to a waterfall with Madi
Seeing Weird Al on my plane and the surfer chick who got her arm bitten off by a shark. I felt so consumed with famous people ;)

Basically I could go on and on...so I will limit myself. All in all it was a huge success and SOOO fun to finally be with my entire family in the same place at once. Rare, but super neat. Us Ballards should do that more often, we are a fun clan.

My Birthday = A HUGE SUCCESS!

I prob always say this, but I had the best bday I have ever had this year. I went to school as usual and went to my internship, bla bla bla. But when I got home Senior and I went to Taco Tuesday and Megan and Josh's and they made me a banner, brownies and gave me a crown. Once again, no pics. I suck, sue me.

We had great food and played with cute JP, their son.

I then came home and Senior gave me the bar-none the

best present ever

A RICE COOKER WITH A STEAMER ON TOP!!!

Oh my gosh it's beautiful and I love it and I have used it every day. I love rice and steamed veggies more than most sacred things on this planet and Senior will go straight to C-kingdom for that gift.

To top it off, when I got home guess who was there to surprise me?

My two BFF's dykal and Erica. I was so happy I screamed and jumped like those ladies that win something on Oprah or Ellen. So, that night I had mike, erica, matt, leah, judy and luke all in my home, all talking, dancing and having a gay ol time. I nearly bawled every 5 minutes I was so happy.

I make everyone drink echinacea tea with cayenne when they feel like they are getting sick. It tastes a tad like butthole, but it works every time. And no, I do not literally know what butt hole tastes like.

Can I just say I love my fitness classes? My fellow peers who teach are always telling me their tales of woe and pain-in-the-ars-ness of their classes. I have the sweetest people in mine. Bill, a 70-something retired doctor in my weight training class made me his famous cookies for my bday. He also gave me some of his homemade chapstick, which is way good fyi. Another student brought me ice cream....yep, she is a saint. I must be upping their endorphins or something because they are all WAY too nice.

That's a solid little update, eh?

Heaven is a place... it happens to be called kauai

2011-02-22T23:55:00.000-08:00

I was meant to live here. This may sound a bit sac-re-lij, but I think heavenly father may have put the wrong zip code on my stork basket.

B-day slash Hawaii updates soon to follow

(I haven't done an ounce of homework. probably going to be an issue)

Debby Downer

2011-02-06T09:25:00.001-08:00

Optimism First!!!!

I finally broke down and bought some bike shoes! I don't have the money, but my knees are pissed, so I gave in. Thanks goodness the home dog at the shop gave me a huge deal. Love him

I like my curly hair. Really, despite my inability to do it well I like myself with my frizz and fro. Occasionally, especially recently, I have been waking up at the butt-hole and crack of dawn every day. Therefore, straightening my hair so I don't have to do it for an undisclosed amount of time (due to a certain yuck factor), is delightful.

I am interning at the Strength and Conditioning facility at the U and a fellow on the baseball team said this after practice:

"did you straighten your hair?"

"yes I did"

"you look SOOOOO different"

"um, thanks?"

"I mean you don't look worse, or necessarily better, but different"

5 minutes later

"seriously, you could literally be a transformer"

"mmm...."

"Not that you're masculine looking or anything"

"you should stop"

Now, I realize the inevitable 'slit-your-wrist'-ness of the title, but this blog is dedicated solely to the thoughts circulating my cranium....so I can promote Prozac all I want. So, last night I watched a movie, this movie to be exact

I bawled my eyes out.

Now, I am not normally the sort of female (I love when Keira Knightly says that in P&P to the dreaded cousin Mr. Collins, "I am not the sort of female to torment a respectable man. Please understand me, I cannot accept you!" Phenomenal movie) who voluntarily picks movies that will cause blubbering, snot and tears. I have this weird pride thing that often prevents me...it's the darndest thing. Anyway, lately I have been on this documentary/true story kick, and let me tell ya, the real world kicks Charlie's, The Notebook's, and P.S. I Love You's trash when it comes to making one fall apart. This movie was so great and to think that it is true, how I wish I could hear the real Aunt's voice telling Soraya's story to the reporter. Watch it, you'll more fully understand my rantings.

Similarly, we had a guest speaker in my Women's Health and Nutrition class on Thursday (oh, the class that lasts 3 1/2 hours you ask? Yes, that one. The one that I am ravenously hungry in cause I've depleted my food stores out of my backpack for the day? Yes, right again, that very class). Anyway, the guest speaker was from the Rape Recover Center in SLC. Did you know that 1 out of every 3 women in Utah is raped or severely sexually assaulted? I know, this is definitely cozy goodness you want to snuggle up to a fire and drink hot cocoa to. But, needless to say it was a powerful class filled with interesting discussion from men and women on the issue. The teacher even spoke up and told us of her personal story of being assaulted. It was an intense but beautiful moment.

Point being, while these helpless women probably should have caused me to feel vulnerable and scared to be female, I realized they empowered me. These strong women who have gone through hell are beautiful, distinct minds who want to create, build and enhance the world with their thoughts and stories, not just their scars. Sorry, I'm just feeling like waving my feminist flag today I guess. But I'm happy to be a woman and have this body, this mind, and... even my ovaries....which have a tendency to give me pain and unwarranted estrogen freak-outs on innocent passers-by.

(this is undoubtedly where Kyle calls me a lesbo....)

WTF?

2011-01-27T08:38:00.000-08:00

So, I was thinking, it's been a while since I've shared some of my cuter daily moments with you all. Hence, as a result of my constant pull for more humility in my character. I'm a slave to my own destruction I tell ya.

Anyway...

It was just another Monday in my indoor cycling class. My hard core, physically fit ladies were there, kickin my trash and eyes filled with nazi-like intensity. All of a sudden, while jamming to Eminem/Rihanna tune we hear

"She f&$!@#$ hates me!"

Whoops!!

All of the sudden that auschwitz-guard focus leaves and these renown professors and 'Godfathers' of the University look up at me in horror.

Not two minutes later we hear,

"If she ever tries to f@#!$%^ leave again..."

I'm mortified.

New song, Kerri Hilson new hit "Knock You Down."

"You listen to that (bleep)"

My face is so red and stuttering starts to happen, "I'm SOOOOOOO sorry guys."

Let me explain myself. I spent quite a bit of time on these cycling playlists. Understatement. I spent annoying amounts of hours coming up with the right songs to the work outs. When I made this play list I got all my songs and then I downloaded the clean, primary-chorister (shout out to lirpa) version of these songs. I THOUGHT I put the new, University approved playlist on the ol pod....apparently I went ahead and thought wrong. So, the problema is that a lot of the songs that are phenom for spinning usually drop the occasional Scholzen word (S, D and H), which is nothing too damning, but it happens to be a tad more problematic and obvious in the spin room. I am not only listening to booty-clappin, gangsta 'gin and juice' tunes, scouts honor.

Thus, every other song would drop one or two words, minus my wholesome buddies U2, Coldplay and Will-I-am. God bless em.

So I spent a lot of time apologizing, spastically laughing really hard, and turning a beautiful shade of crimson for extended periods of time. Their eyes never ceased to get big and shocked whenever it would happen.

On a slightly cheerier, more wholesome note, here is a shout out to Althea, that crazy cat whom I dig and also to Hawaii, something I also dig...very much. Only 20 days left!!!

Mumford

2011-01-11T19:21:00.000-08:00

So, I have zilch excuses for my extended absence. But thus I have begun my hardest semester to date as of yesterday, 1-10-11. I have sold my soul to the dollar-eating, time-gulping ogre dressed in Ute red.. But, I had a great break, full of tinies, great parental doting, and.....oh wait, what is it that normally follows when I discuss going to southern Utah...? Oh yeah, the phenomenal weather. Well, sucks the weather was sucky balls, huh? I froze my non-existent gonads off. I forgive you Hurricane, but snow? Really? On my break?

I also don't have too many pics, or good ones. I always let the sisters take all the pics and then I always forget to steal them. Blasted wretch. But just make them invite you to their annoyingly private blogs and you can see cute glimpses of me occasionally.

Anywho, I am going in reverse order here. So, I am going to a Jazz game tomorrow!! Thank you senior and thank you Jesus for the celebration of your birth that equates in me receiving great things, pertaining but not specified to Jazz tickets. But, we did get some lovely $5 nose bleeds for the game against...(can't remember). It was great fun, Judy and BJD (Bradley James Herrara) came and it was pretty funny seeing Judy, sweet Judy explain the game and such to BJD. I love that freak, Judy, but BJD is neat too.

Judy attempting to be mad at the refs, or someone, she wasn't sure who she was supposed to be mad at.

Can't you just smell the sweat this close to the action? We couldn't either

Speaking of getting close to the action, as per usual Lee tried to sneak closer, which she succeeded in, initially. But, as brett bradley, BJD and Judy tried to follow her to the coveted 11th row a guard saw their nervousness and hurriedly escorted them back to the 10945th row. Soooo funny. Lee was pissed the rest of the game. She blames Judy, naturally.

Here we have my Christmas break. Meg, tons of her. She was my sidekick the whole time. I have a couple winner photos of this freak. Yes, she is showing crack in most of them. Here she is giving her best rendition of 'hanna tanna.' I hear topless concerts are all the rage these days.

Oh, well lookie who it is. Just me giving ya my cameo. OH!!! did I mention I got a new computer!!!!??? He's beautiful, polite, chivalrous and doesn't dose off when I'm telling it all my stories and feeding it my homework. I have named him Mumford. I hope this is a long, fruitful relationship. I'm now a MAC gal. I feel so trendy and poetic already. I can go to hip cafes in SLC and blog about political issues and feel legit. Too bad I don't drink the trendy coffee drinks. I guess it's not my time to fit in. Someday....

How cute is linnie. I thought she looked like such a cute grammy here.

My mother is great. She is the MOST selfless person I know. She is even funny occasionally, don't tell her I said. She will be insufferable for Bruce.

*Funny side note: (technically this whole thing is random side notes, but whatev) Linnie learned what 'narcissistic meant, well thought she learned, and called every person that did anything she didn't like a narcissist. No matter their crime, narcissism was the culprit.

Naturally.

The flooding was crazy. I know I shouldn't, but I do love a good flooding every now and again. Sorry all you peeps who lost some serious christmas cheer over losing your house in the river. I just can't help myself. Plus it gives all those siblings of mine some solid work, so 'don hate it!'

Oh that? That's just meg reading the National Geographic in her underwear and rollerblades. I, of course was joining her in my similar get up, but I just escaped the photo. Damn.

I got to finally play with my bff Eric boy. I love those shields. They make me chuckle, and even better they like my jokes. God love em. Erica is doing crazy good on her track team at BYU currently, FYI. So go watch if you're in the hood and don't mind being surrounded by a million flawless bodies who think you are scum in your jeans and flabby calves. Also there's the inevitable boredom watching the mile run waiting to watch her do her stuff. Other than that the track meets are neat. JK, I actually like em....and the flawless bodies.

One more tid bit. Remember how I'm teaching stuff this semester? I'm teaching indoor cycling, weight lifting and personal training. I'm nervous but sufficiently excited. So, if it interests anyone, I was thinking I would be willing to post the work outs I write up for class on this here blog if anyone would like some additional work out tips or lay outs. Good idea? Or did you slightly vomit through your nose. That hurts when it happens. But let me know, I'd love to hear feedback and such from my work outs and see if you like/hate them so I may improve upon my shhhkills.

I am excited about school, but I am already soooo tired from being on campus from 6 am to 6 pm. Disgusting. Besides teaching I am also taking

Womens Nutrition and Health (super excited about this one)

Advanced Human Nutrition

ESS 4800 (teaching class)

Aging and Exercise

Training and Planning - did my teacher make fun of me the entire period? PSSHH why would he? Yes, yes he did. Did I walk into the wrong classroom and sit in the the teachers literal chair accidentally on my way to this class? Yes, yes I did.

Come Together

2010-12-11T19:39:00.001-08:00

I am here to ask a favor. A plea in the name of fitness (and apparently the Beatles, by the looks of the title. Cool that we can now, seeing as Beatles downloads on itunes are now possible). Here's the thing, I am teaching a couple of fitness classes next semester. GASP! I wish I had a better onomatopoeia for that, but I can't think of one. In order to graduate in my chosen field the department uses and abuses us and forces us to give free fitness classes to University employees. In all honesty I am not bugged at all, I'm actually quite excited. Mmmm, pardon, I WAS excited, that is until I found out one of the classes I have to teach is a spin class....two spin classes. I am crazy nervous. I suck at spin. False, I look semi handi-dis-capable when I am in a spin class. They kick my butt and actually cause my sweat glands to bear their ever-sparing fruits, (I never sweat, it's a bummer, I like it when I do, makes me feel like I'm working hard and makes other people believe it as well).

Anyway, to the point, at last: I have no music. My computer, no offense pappa who lovingly purchased it for me, is a P.O.S (abbreviated for piece of ****) and keeps crashing, so I've stopped putting my music on it. So, here is my dilemma, the best spin classes, in my opinions begin and end with music selection. So, I am here, on my knees, begging you please (april, that was my shout out to your boys Boyz II Men...or is it All4One? They're all the same) help me. I am asking for you to share with me your favorite songs, the ones that get you moving, your 'go-to's' on your run or at the gym. The ones that help you clean the house with a titch of a better attitude. Ya know? Those songs. Anyway, I would love to get a good variety and possibly learn of some good diddys I didn't know about before.

So, with this final plea I ask for your help, dear cyber comrades. Plus, kind of fun to see what people listen to, right?

Christmas Gizzards

2010-12-08T20:44:00.001-08:00

So, I have no Thanksgiv pics or neat new things that have any prevalence to this wonderful season, partly because I never take the pics at family outings...I'm far too busy standing in front of the camera, giving cute little boys hope everywhere that they can someday grow up and look devastatingly good looking. But, huh um, sisters.....I would appreciate some pics so people believe me when I say I have a family. My lack of evidence is starting to look fishy.

Anyway, I do have an experience I would like to share with you all. It begins so beautiful, full of hope and then, without explanation it takes a turn for the terrifying. We shall call it the nightmare before christmas. Copyright? I say nay, the publishing big wigs will never catch me.

So, I hate snow. Harsh, yes, but I really do. I like the occasional snow we would go play in at kolob or the one day in Hurricane it would snow enought to build a snowman, until noon when it would be reduced to midget-dom. But I'm no good at snow boarding or skiing and I haven't found my personal money tree to make it feasible. But, last year I came to find that snowshoeing was delightful. I actually quite enjoyed it. Thus this year I have decided to do it regularly so I can join the freaks and get all giddy when it is a blizzard outside.

So me and lenny rented some shoes and decided to skip a class or two and hit the trails and we were just two happy little guys excited to get some sore muscles and see some of God's cool art when we saw

THIS!!!!!

Sorry if you can't see it very well, wish I could zoom it for ya. But it is guts. A huge pile of intestines, spleen, heart, liver, you know, all the good stuff they let you play with in anatomy lab. How I miss being able to play with livers......anyway, it was a titch scary but nothing to deter me in my "love snow" mission. That is, until I saw the huge, bloody paw next to these guts. Not sure if it's the big cat's guts or the prey of the big cat's guts. I'm a tad embarrassed to say I wanted to keep going, but the ever practical Lenny decided we should turn around and not ruin the pretty white stuff with our gizzards as well. We walked our little tooshies outta there as fast as our oversized shoes would let us, imagining only the most implausible scenarios to occur. It didn't help that the trail of blood followed us all the way to our car.

Looks like me and snow will just have to agree to disagree on a mutual friendship. I will not give in this easy though, Me and snow will be wearing ying yang bff bracelets before st. patty's day!!

Oh, and I did a school project about body image and I used this pic and it made me smile literally all day. So, here is my christmas card to the rest of you, allow George Castanza to adorn your fridge and christmas tree and fill your season with joy, love, and hair...lots of body hair.

Weeping.....Various Types and Forms

2010-11-08T11:30:00.000-08:00

Weeping 1: School Rape

Wale kids, has it been this long? Really? School not only takes your money but it rapes you of your social networking freedoms and stalking hobbies. The nerve.

Weeping 2: Roids

And with a loss we suffered saturday against TCU (please don't make me recount, lets just say we left early and Senior NEVER leaves early. His little heart was shattered) I'm starting to wonder where all this cash is going....

Oh, but speaking of the game (or spanking) we did have one neat experience, we totally saw a guy get choke-slammed, WWE style over a railing by a cop. Scared the piss out of me but made the game totally worth it. Let it be a lesson to all you young, aspiring small-man-syndrome-humans STEROIDS ARE NOT THE ANSWER. THEY ONLY GET YOU IN TROUBLE AND CAUSE SHRINKAGE AND EMBARRASSING MOMENTS AND PHONE CALLS TO MOMMY TO COME BAIL YOU OUT. See, I'm just helping mold young minds every day, I can't help it.

Halloween!!!

This years celebration of Hallow's Eve was an eventful one.

Thursday night me and senior attended Erica's bash in Provo. Good times with her and her cousins....jk, eventually some non-related peeps came too. No pics of the eventful night though, sorry.

Friday me, Jo, Judy and senior attended a ward dance party and might I say for a ward dance party it was pretty freakin legit. Yes I am a gang-ster. We danced like mad. If you have never danced w me, judy and jo, you are missing some serious good times. One kid told my friend later that he wanted to dance with us....but he was too scared he'd get hurt. Well kid, survival of the fittest on the dance floor.

Saturday was Jo's party and it was pretty fun too, a lot more dancing and some great costumes.

(me and Fin - treasure troll)

Did we just become best friends?!

As you can see I was a construction worker, damn my orbicularis muscles! I can' whistle and it threw off the whole authenticity of the ensemble. But I made due.

Judy sucks at being sinister

Total Count of How Many Times I Was Asked Either Directly or Indirectly if I Was Intoxicated
On the Dance Floor = 4

Not bad.

Weepie 3: YES PLEASE!

So I finally got to go see The Weepies in concert and I will try not to be too American and over dramatize everything in hopes of filling in for the shortcomings of other aspects of my life....BUT, it was AMAZING! The venue was perfect. Seriously perfect. I have hated every venue in salt lake I have been to as of late, plus SLC peeps have zip concert etiquette. Cowards. But The State Room is the way to go in my opinion.

They were amazing. Seriously the cutest couple I can think of. What a cool life they live too, sure, has its issues, but they seem to love it, hence I love it. But they were better live than they even are on the CD. Think I'm lying? I'm a mormon. I wouldn't.

I got some videos, but they suck. So youtube them, as is customary with this new generation anyway.

(Caitlyn, Brett, Leo)
My phone didn't exactly give me Hansel Adams quality. Sorry

(Me and Leo, 8 years and counting)

Lambs Canyon

A few weeks ago Senior, me and Leo headed out to Lambs Canyon, a small canyon on the way to Park City. I had never been and it has been (until today) beautiful fall weather. It was gorgeous, I was giddy as a school boy the whole time. Leo had a bum ankle, which I will explain later, so she read about Jesus in the car while I dragged senior up the mountain.

I am trying to love snow, so I'm getting excited about potentially snowshoeing this trail. Cross your fingers that my brain is dumb enough to get tricked.....doubt it, I'm crazy smart;)

Pic above is why me and senior hardly take smiling pics. Punch to the pride

We are the cutest boys this side of the Virgin River.

Senior likes to play this stupid, dumb, annoying, incredibly inconvenient, makes-me-mad-cause -I-laugh-game where he likes to put my arms behind my back and put his arms through and pretend they are mine. We have played it, against my will, in many social settings deemed 'inappropriate' and he continues to love it and try to play it often.

Cooking is hell with this game, trust me.

Weepie 4: The story of Lenny and the bootleg day

So, this is leo, lenny, lendra, leah. She and I decided to go for a run up Pinecreek Canyon about a week ago. It was gorgeous by the way. She was having an already somewhat bum day and I was on some sort of estrogen-induced high cause I was on top of the world and soooo happy to be in this beautiful place. You can imagine our dynamics at the time. Oil and water. But she was a trooper and ran with me and listened to my happy rantings until we were literally 5 steps from the car, which lights she had left on. Literally 5 small steps, when she fell and twisted her ankle something awful. It swoll up crazy fast and looked like a small troll on her leg for longer than a week.

But she finally got to use her jazzy! she loves the dumb things. And she was using a cane, borrowed from ol' man Karl upstairs on campus, made me laugh my balls off. I even got video, stealthly, but it didn't upload, so just imagine, it's prob just as good

Weepie 5: It's a blizzard.

New favorite cafe = Cucina in the aves. BEST hot chocolate I've yet had. Do I want one right now in this blizzard? Don't ask questions you already know the answer to.

A Heavenly Spasm

2010-10-15T10:33:00.000-07:00

My fall break has consisted of these three things.....seriously, A LOT of these three things. The bunny's name is Mocha and it's the newest member of the Ballard Zoo. It's the calmest of the three. But Meg is a great best friend, and we ARE best friends, for she reminds me hourly.

I have recently been told by a few fellow humans that my blog has been....(the word hurts to say) boring lately. Ouch. Ouch, but a deserved ouch I suppose. Pardon my insensitivity towards the reading public and allow me to share a little experience I had the other night, Wednesday night to be precise.

So, I have a confession. For once I feel legitimate when using that word because it is actually something to do with my spiritual well-being. I digress. Anyway, I, as I have been guided and directed to do since infancy, have prayed night and morning (ok, sometimes the morning one has seen small seasons of hiatus, don't judge) to the Big Guy. This has been one of the few things I have never really faltered in too much. Admittedly, it is probably a lot to do with the fact that I absolutely CANNOT sleep unless I perform my nightly ritual to exactness, wherein my prayers are apart of that ritual. Takes a bit of the 'kudos to chelle's salvation' out of it when you admit it to be a 'task.' Anyway, while I do not struggle with the doing portion, I somewhat struggle with the overall delivery....

I fall asleep when I pray, ok.

I fall asleep often.

This leads nicely into my what would have been solitary embarrassment, but seeing as I'm so prone to share this experiences with the world, here ya go.

(Here's the best pic I currently have to depict the cute little freak.
He recently returned from Paris)

I had stayed up late again, thanks to the return of the ever infamous sleep bandit Elder Michael C. Long. He is responsible for almost every single one of my 'all-nighters' in my life. Oh, welcome home buddy, by the way. But, despite the hour, I knelt by my bed, and began with the best of intentions to have a nice little chit-chat with my dear old Dad.

Well, somewhere amongst those earth-shattering thoughts I was sharing with him, my mind started to wander a tad. It does that frequently, wish someone would have told me about riddelin a loooong time ago. Then, with the wandering came a smooth transition into a dream-filled sleep. I'm not sure what was going down but it was something BIG, cause I had a reason to jolt, VERY intensely. This jolt not only woke me up, but caused me to fling backwards and hit my head quite firmly on the bed post, causing me to knock myself over, hitting my head again on the nearby chair on the way down.

I now have a bruised head and an aching head ache. So I just layed on the floor for a while and giggled. Heavenly Father seriously has a pretty good sense of humor.

Heavenly Father: 1

Pride: 0

New Home

2010-09-28T14:41:00.000-07:00

Good bye 477 S. 60 E. Hurricane, Utah.

663 S. 1300 E. Salt Lake City, Utah....I fare thee well.

You were great homes and I did dearly love the time we had together.

But I have found a new home, or should I say it has found me. It found me and chained my typed-out fingers to the soul-wrenching keyboard and hid me from the world of happiness and sunshine I once knew.

Hello library. I hope my residence here is short, but successful.

p.s. Could you please make the bathroom easier to do my nightly rituals in? My toothbrush can't seem to find its niche. Thanks.

Look how happy I am here.... outside, in the sun, with friends, by the water.
So naive.

ALOOOOOOOOOOHA!

2010-09-28T12:35:00.000-07:00

I looooove when people say that in sacrament meeting. Just trickin. My dream, much like martin luther king's, is to someday speak a language that no one in the congregation will likely know and make them say something vulgar and they say it back. of course I'll be the only one getting the joke...but I don't mind.

Well, it's been a while, huh kids? Has it been hard? I find that I have once again joined forces with my inner Satan and taken on my 'journal demons.' While this is not a journal, I find that the same principle applies. Let me explain:

Whenever I get that urge to write in my journal, usually resulting from either an inspirational or flat out terrifying hell/fire/damnation lesson in a religious setting, I start and I find that with myself I am pleased. Yet, as my life somehow does, with no friendly reminders or pertinent warning signs, things just sort of pile up and I find that it has been 3 months since I last wrote. Now while this is no Y2K scare, ***(speaking of remind me to tell you about my awesome idea to have a y2k scare party, I have a lot of good things resulting from that molecular sparkle in my thoughts) it does pose a problem because I find that I don't want to write after the three months cause so much has happened and I feel overwhelmed by the idea of recapping everything. Thus the viscous cycle continues until after a year or two I decide to start anew with refreshed vigor and vim....but the cycle inevitably always repeats itself.

Nevertheless, it is thus with my blogging. So, to prevent myself from this demon of my memoirs, I will just vaguely recap and not care if you can follow along.
Nice.

Rachelle, Readers Digest Version:

I am in school. I love school. No matter what I say when I am in the library on weekends doing a blasted lab study for a professor with small man syndrome and way too much 49er's memorabilia who refuses to allow anyone to have the right answer, I love school. I love being on campus and I love my majors/minor

Senior and me at our recent trip to the Museum of Natural History. Dinos are neat.

(just trying to spice this up with some pics)

For those of you who don't know, I am an Exercise and Sport Science Major- fitness leadership and also a Journalism major. Oh, and kick in a nutrition minor. I am always curious as to what people are learning in their majors and what classes they are taking. So, I might throw in some fun tid bits of things I am learning that I think are applicable to the general public if it so pleases you. I am particularly in love with my nutrition classes and while they are intense, they are neat.

I am currently registered in the following:
Exercise programming ( a lot of poking and running and measuring)
Exercise programming lab (A LOT of running, poking and measuring)
Sports Nutrition
Soccer - yes, it's vital to my graduation:)
Magazine Writing
Cultural Aspects of Food - this class rocks, all we do is eat food from different countries for 2 hours once a week. Sometimes the big guy upstairs throws ya a freaking bone, if ya know what I mean.

I also got a job. A big boy job. Neat, huh? I work at Reporters Inc. It's a law reporting firm. For those of you who have ever seen me in an office setting this is perhaps allowing a few chuckles to flow freely from your lips.
Stop it.
But it's not too bad, the chicas I work with are stellar and I have only received 3 paper cuts and almost botched huge projects like once. I'm growing up so fast. Don't tear up mother.

I do desperately miss my homies at East High, I hope to make it back there occassionally cause I love those tinies.

There was the Avenues annual street fair this past week and I loved it. Full of hippies and cool home made things. Among these neat things were two gold mines. A-a frog selling shop which made me think of my mother and how her idea had offish been stolen. Sorry linnie, we shouldn't have made fun of you.

U fans are seer crazy fun and a wee bit obsessed. Love em though. Glad to be one

Result of Game.

U of U game, the MUSS (mighty utah student section) is crazy balls. Pardon my language. They are insane nuts. Seer, the games are super fun and it helps that we are winning these days, also that coach whit is seriously attractive.

Me and Senior at the game. He insisted on standing at the very top. We usually make a few crazy friends up there, so I don't blame him, minus the walk would challenge Lance Armstrong's lungs.

Senior got me these the day I moved back up. He shows his knack for sentimentality in the romantic note. The space thing and the burrito thing are a tad inside-joke ish.....as is the other parts. Dang.

Another find at the Avenues street fair. This dog drooled more than Erica on a camping trip. Seriously, buckets of drool. I wanted it super bad though. I really want a puppy.

So the other neat find at this street fair was this awesome school of rock, legit style. These kids rocked out and were crazy good and 7. I loved it. I tried to upload a video of them...but vulgar words resulted from the attempt. So no video

(love ya eric)

Random myspace pic. Jk. Is myspace still in existence? I'll ask the world wide web in a sec. But mostly I am showing off my newest purchase from the farmers market. I love this lady's jewelry http://www.elizabethplumbjewelry.com/ and I finally bought one. Don't ask with what money....I'd rather not discuss my poverty if you don't mind.

My summer consisted of this. This being Meg. She was my best buddy and my constant friend. Plus I wanted to bring that kitten home.
I resisted. Previous experiences told me I should resist.
Meg is now watching her for me. Safe? Probably not. But they both like cat food so I figure the kitty will think she is one of her. Minus that she tries to baptize the kittens. That little missionary.
I miss all the tinies. SUMMER, YOU ARE A COWARD AND CALIFORNIA IS DUMB. Bring those babies back please. Thanks.
OH, shout out to Madi. She got her ears pierced and didn't shed a single tear. I witnessed it. GOOD JOB MADI!

I have been back down to southern utah quite a bit already. Mostly just because of this place. (oh and my family too. mmmph, sorry) Anyway, I love kolob and I am a sucker for that four hour drive if I know I get to go there. Not a shabby scene, eh?

Enlightening Cognizance

2010-08-03T13:06:00.000-07:00

I usually hate this sort of blog post, but I had a roller coaster ride of emotions yesterday (which makes me think of b*witched. Anyone remember them from Disney Channel's concerts? They were those spunky irish gals? Anyway, I'm going to trim down on my Disney references here in the near future. Scouts honor). Anyway, all I want to say is:

Working in an office = Not for me. I will not complain, but I will say my vigor for school in a major of my choosing has increased 17.9 fold.

Too soon to be counting down to Hawaii for Kip and Alli's nuptials?

I say nay

Bachelorette - I hate you. I now remember why I was a better person when I didn't have television.

Zumba - Despite my my skepticism and qualming ( I might have made that word up) I LOVE you. I went last night in h-town and had gallons of white-girls-trying-to-shake-it, sweating-so-much-my-arms-started-sprouting-unidentified-leafy-green-things, laugh-my-nonexistant-balls-off FUN. Seriously, It's the funnest work out I've had in a while. I totally recommend it. Thanks Bev for taking me.

Saucy pic, eh? Got it off google/images. Creative slash original, I know.

puttin on the ritz

2010-07-28T11:54:00.000-07:00

wale, as per usual I find myself engaging in the somewhat less than constructive time-suck of blogging. But, as I just read on my milk chocolate dove wrapper, 'Time wasted happily is not time wasted at all.' Those people at Dove sure do have a simultaneous grasp on the delicious and the sentimental. So, I'm going to fess up, these pictures are disgracefully out of order. Another one of my dastardly plots to maintain intrigue. Subtle, yet....effective? Anywho, here is another whiff of my Summer spent trying to dodge a 'real' job whilst slumming for any dollar I can put my sunburned hands on.

First and foremost, a confession. I have always made fun of these shows. Once again, karma is a bitter, unloved, emotionally barren wench (that quote is for you bev). But I have watched the past two episodes of this season's Bachelorette and I'm hooked. I'm honestly so into who she chooses. It's embarrassing. It's true. But I think she is cute and I like one specific male prospect and I'm upset to admit that I will be glued to the tv monday evening to see who she chooses.

Phew! I feel better having had admitted that.

Thought I'd put these two pics together. Check out our complimentary attitudes. I'm just trying to mold the next generation into something I can smile upon.

There's going to be a lot of pictures of humans shooting. This was not a remake of 'Custer's Last Stand.' Promise. My father was the Young Men's President and he took his priests out shooting. Naturally Matt and I joined. Annie Oakley may or may not have been impressed with me. Did I hit a lot of those wiley clay pigeons?

No.

But I do believe I hit the one's considered most jeapordous to the boy's safety.

Mateo making a dry-ice bomb. I think he finally found a group of people on his same brain waves. Sad.

Me and Lenny, aka Leah recently went for a gorgeous hike up by the narrows. Zion is gorgeous right now. Minus the flash flood warnings I highly suggest you pay it a visit.

Mateo and I doing our best to not show our eye color.
Oh, and we went to a ReAl game. Super fun. Thanks a mil Ashcracks (aka Ashcrofts) I recently had two stellar weekends up in the dirty slc. Matt and Melissa joined for the last one and we had a blast. Thanks for joinin me homies! I have no pics of them, but take my word that they seemed happy.

I love it up there in the Summer. Quite a happenin place. Not exactly 'the city that never sleeps,' but for that I am glad, cause I do enjoy an adequate amount of REM cycles.

This is just on a cool bench after going to see Inception. Did that show boggle anyone else's balls?! I LOVED it! I love movies like that, mind twisters. Seriously one of the best movies I've seen in a while. I'm sure it's no match for the Jacob vs Edward phenomenon sweeping the tween nation, but it's just more my cup of tea I suppose.

So good to be back in southern Utah:).

Andy and Mateo found eachother. Rachelle? Rachelle who?

My best friends down here = madi and meg. Everyday.
We recently went and saw the Jackson's new golden retriever puppies. Can you tell by the face that happiness and purpose were found?

I've been really into trail running lately. I'm addicted. I was going with my best good pal Jordan, (who's photography site has been updated and I HIGHLY recommend you check it out) and we'd been on some gorgeous runs. But, as we mere mortals often do, we got a little gung-ho in our endeavors and we did a hard run a few too many times that week. We tried to to do the same run again and our legs felt like a mixture between 3 day old Hunan City chow mein and Harry Potter's arm in the 2nd movie when Professor Lockhart takes the bone out.
Too much?
Sorry. I digress.
Anyway, I ate crap after trying to run up a mountain of massive porportions and this is just the hand. My 'seat, rear, rumpus, boonie, butt, gluteus maximus, derriere, keister, caboose, what have you was also severly beat up. But I will spare you those photos.
Yes, I took photos.

wistful, don't ya think?

Mateo is a man of....well, B.S. A LOT of it. He makes up so much crap all day long that my trust issues have been magnified ten fold. Words, facts, etc. He makes me look like an honest Abe, which has NEVER happened.

Some of Mateo's best quotes in recent weeks:

"I got a fancymanship degree. I specialize in all things fancy. It's a mix between ritzy and classy.
Ellen deGenerus, Jim Halpart and Michael Buble are just a few of my fellow grads."

"I've just been puttin on the ritz."

"Feel free to follow me on the tweeter."

"Bradjolina ate my baby!"

Back to puppy love.

Did I mention that I these girls are around? Cute little farts.

Pappa Bruce divulging his ever expounding wisdom upon some oppressed 16 year olds.

Wanna get your heart racing? Just join these two freaks on a four wheeler ride out south. You will A-swear. Don't be ashamed. Pretty sure even Mother Teresa would. B-pee your pants. C-hit the person driving. D-Have a lot of fun. These boys are nuts, but I love em. Pretty cool scenery too. I kept making them pose for engagements but they always moved too soon. Believe me when I say it got saucy.

Cute photo. I miss those babies and Noah an insane amount. Move on back now Shlum. Thanks!!

Speaking of near death experiences, I am planning on making my first sky-diving jump here in about a month and I am pretty excited. Feel free to come if you want, August 28th is the day as of now. But this risky behavior got me thinking if it was any more dangerous than hopping in your car in the morning to drive to work. Mateo found this cool little thing that I would like to share cause I think it is interesting.

No reason for it.

Is there ever?

http://www.blog.joelx.com/odds-chances-of-dying/877/

My anti-depressants....

2010-07-07T16:02:00.000-07:00

Here's just a list of things that are making me smile like a giddy school boy lately.

Farmers Market.

Love everything about it and refuse to ever miss it if I'm in SLC.

It's full of neat people like this:

(yep, he brought those gorgeous ivories here by way of bike.)

This is a lot of law suits in my near future. Somewhat shamefully I admit this is one of those pics that's already on your phone when you buy it, but I absolutely love it and appreciate that verizon gave it to me for free. Thanks verizon. (No clue why this is hyperlinked. Damn this thing called technology and all it's finangled gidgets! pardon the language)

Hatch bakery's AMAZING desserts. (Yes, it's the one owned by the little couple)

So I know that these pics are super hard to discern, but let me paint the pic that may, sadly, a bit blurry to you. It is a middle aged, beer-gut ridden male in a womens spandex pink tank top and pink booty work out shorts. Hairy, raw, unabashed beauty. I did feel a smidge awkward cause he easy saw me trying to take 17 pics.

Chalk festival. I hate my lack of artistic talent. Screw 'people skills' or whatever it is they tell you you have if you have no tangible talents.

BBQ with the tiny tots and HUGE marshmallows.

Street performers like this. She was blissfully unpretentious, frizzy haired and beautiful.

Yes I bought her CD.

Happiest little smile over her new pink bike. She told us how it was pink like 42 times. It was pretty adorable how proud she was to show matt. He displayed the expected enthusiasm. Thank goodness

Neat friends like this. Zit control is never taken lightly with us...even if we are leaving the house right that minute. Priorities are priorities

Tons of pics w me and my fellow asian-eyed homie at the infamous 'duck church.' Church would be hard to endure with this amazing park in the backyard

The fact that I'm not having to worry about this right now.

The wonderful reality that I FINALLY got a friend to eat the cheeseburger dog at 7-11. No, I will not claim responsibility for his medical bills.

Cool humans that walk their iguanas.

attempting to copy the MILLIONS of engagment pics always happening around us. So fun to watch all the cute cheesy couples. Crap. we prob are one. But I do LOVE our temp square walks every night.

The fact that I'm going to a modest mouse concert tonight....for free.

That this little boy is back home and in my arms. YES!!!! Sorry guatemala, you weren't ready for this jelly

Oh, and this blog = http://www.colormekatie.blogspot.com/ has been making me pretty happy this afternoon. Check it out. She's neat.

*I hate to sound like one of those people that is supposedly ALWAYS happy and blogging about only the fun things they do, hence making you feel like a weiner, cause what are you doing....sitting on your butt blog stalking. But don't worry, I have a cool life, but I also have down times. I just wanted to put that in there in hopes that this blog makes you a tad happier, not depressed..... Oh the irony of this post

A little piece of my heart

2010-06-18T15:17:00.001-07:00

Two posts in one day, I don't have work, it's a beautiful day and Summer's babies are sleeping, hence my only playmates are sleeping. Sad, but entirely true. Anyway, I just wanted to post something a bit more serious and closer to home. This is something I'm very passionate about, so I hope my amateur writing can do my thoughts justice. I know that I have talked about body image before and how vastly important it is to living a happy life, but this is a smidge different. A huge part of my life right now is the fact that I'm in school. Many of you know that I'm going into a Exercise and Sport Science field with an emphasis in nutrition. When I first began my degree I knew it was right for me because I have a passion for being active and had a huge desire to help the 'obesity epidemic.' While I still love being active and learning about the body, I have come to find that my area of interest has shifted a tad. While I do believe our society has a huge problem with weight and physical activity, I have come to realize that, in my opinion, it is less of a 'they're lazy and need a kick in the butt,' as it is that our society has a distinct and debilitating bad relationship with food and overall themselves. I had a class this past semester that has changed my life and it is based off of the book above. It is all about learning to listen to your body and having a good relationship with food. I have realized that while obesity is on the rise, so are eating disorders, and their statistics are beating obesity's by a substantial amount. I want so badly to be apart of a movement that creates a better relationship with food and the outlook on our bodies. I HATE diets, I hate them and I'm sorry if you're currently on one, I wish you luck, but I think they are asinine and the worst invention our insecure society has worked up.There's an obsession with thinness and eating only healthy and it's killing us at almost as fast a rate as obesity If we could just learn to listen to our bodies we would know what our body needs, how much and when. We all have this demon inside of us called 'the food police' that tells us what foods are 'good' and 'bad.' This constant guilt trip we give ourselves is exhausting and entirely stupid. I'll stop my soap box now cause I can tell I'm getting worked up, as I often do when I get on this subject, but if I could seriously get even one person to read these books I know the difference it can make. I am currently not even close to being good at this. I'm new to the whole thing, but once you read it, it is so common sensical it's embarrassing that it's not habit. If you have even a remotely bad relationship with food I beg of you to research the idea of intuitive eating and seriously work on accepting that our bodies know what is best for us....we just need to listen. If anyone has questions on food or exercise I have a passion for this field and would love to help if I can. If I don't know the answer I have amazing resources at my finger tips right now and I would love to find out for you. I hope I don't sound preachy or annoying, I just really think our relationship with food and physical activity is important, and I think there are a lot of voices out there proclaiming falsehoods and building insecurities in beautiful people. I have gained a totally new perspective on body image and my bias's and how I treat food, I hope even these small books can help even in a tiny way.

Just a tad Schizophrenic

2010-06-18T14:24:00.000-07:00

AaaaaaallloooooooooooooHA my fellow responsibility avoiders! Let's be honest that that is really what it is we are doing whilst blog stalking/facebooking/'tweetering' as Mateo calls it. I also love when people say 'aloha' in church, espesh when they aren't from the literal islands. My dream is to someday have some returned missionary get up from an exotic location and make everyone say something totally pervy in their language and have everyone say it back. Granted, hopefully they would be the only one in the congregation to speak the language.....not all my dreams are what some may call 'couth.'
Anywho, I digress. Here's just a quick pic update of my time in So.Ute the past few weeks. My sisters have many more pics and much more abilities in the crafty realm, it wouldn't be so unfair if I had got the good voice or fashion forward gene. I've thus been jipped.

This is a pickled bobcat. You think I'm kidding. You would have to. This is a true gem found only at g-ma thelmas. There is a story that goes with it, but honestly I'd rather not say cause it's so much more fun to just post a pickled bobcat. Mateo was pretty speechless when introduced to this beauty. He's somehow still not scared away.....give me time.

Made some jam. I'm an apricot jam junky. I would like some to be put in my arms whilst I lay in my casket. Thank you and please respect my final wishes.

BRINK!!!! oh, yes, the Disney Channel Original Movie made a HUGE impact on me as a youngster. Me and Bub (my adorable cousin Abby) have done some serious blading in our time and can I just say that it is a bit harder of a work out than I remember it being. Blades, my toosh thanks you.

I've been spending A LOT of time with the tinies. Sincerely, it's been A LOT of time. But they like my jokes and value my similar appreciation for playing....all day, I have found my kindred spirits.

My best friend. This crazy gal has been my constant buddy. "SHAELLLL! Where ar you?!!!" I hear that all day. She is crazy but makes you feel like gold every time you walk into the room. Even if you just left for 5 seconds, when you come back in she yells your name and comes running into your arms like you just returned from a full year deployed in Iraq. She plays...hard....all day.

ON TO MY SCHIZOPHRENIA....

So I am back in the Dirty SL Citay for a few weeks to hang out with my East High peeps. I know what a lot of you are thinking, some tutor you must be Chelle, why are all your kids taking Summer School? and to that I have absolutely no good answers. I like to think of myself as more of a guiding voice than an educational expert;). Naw, it's actually mostly new kids, but I do miss my regular gear up students. So, since they were new they actually treated me like a respected adult for the first 5 minutes....it didn't last, it never does. Here are just a couple of the comments I've received in the first 4 days:

Student: "Are you a senior this year?"

Student: "Do you always do your hair like that?"

Student: "Rachelle, could you talk to the other tutors about telling more jokes?" (They are supposed to be doing quiet reading each day in my class. apparently I talk to much. A new development I think)

And my personal favorite, this takes some setting up:

So, I don't know if I'm the only one outside of a mental institution that does this, but I have endless conversations and 'mind movies' as I call them all day. I have weird, random scenarios playing out in my mind in a constant stream. How do I function? With practice....and very short conversations with the 'normal people.' Anyway, sometimes when these play out I often find myself moving my mouth along with the scenario being played out. I can never tell if this has been happening or if I caught it right as it's happening. This ever present problem lead to this conversation.

Student: "Hey, I think I recognize you from somewhere!"

Me: "Oh, I'm a gear up tutor during the school year, you probably saw me in the library."

Student: "Hahahaha, no, I saw you the other day walking down the street"....(continues laughing hysterically)

Me: "Did I walk like a retarded buffalo or something?"

Student: (upon finally catching her breath) "no, me and my friends laughed our butts off for like an hour after seeing you cause you were having a pretty intense conversation with yourself. We looked for headphones but we couldn't see any. Did you get all your issues worked out?"

The other students quickly join in the laughter.

Me: "mmmm, pretty sure that wasn't me."

I have no doubt that it was me. I bring a lot of unnecessary pain upon myself. This self destructive behavior is easy going to affect my future employment endeavors.

This moment presented to you by Hallmark

2010-05-23T18:22:00.000-07:00

(sorry about the quality, pics are taken by phone of pic.)

Well here I am again, presenting yet another solid dissertation on the validity of my existence. I am back in H-town and living the dream that I once thought dead upon graduation. This is both a good and bad thing. I love playing with the famdam all the time and getting fried like a lobster...ah, the blisters, how I forgot about them. One of my annual summer tasks is to have slumber parties with my g-ma every Wednesday and Thursday nights. We have a gay ol time, me and that rebel Thelma. Sure, the 85 degree household temperatures and blaring tv volume may seem like inevitable misery, but that is where I pop in with a resounding NAY, it does not! Most the time we watch an episode of Touched By an Angel, insanely cheesey but they somehow get me every bloody freakin time (I blame the mind dizzying temperatures). Then we usually watch a Hallmark Hall of Fame flick, full of tales of woe overcome by love and tears. But, there is the rare occasion that I can get g-ma to start talking. This, as in the words of Troy and Gabriella's East High School is 'where amazing happens.' I started looking at old pictures and asking her about them and I experienced a night full of stories andn experiences as told by my grandmother. Honestly, it was priceless. For those of you who know me, I can be a bit of a love critic, espesh with very few happily ever afters these days. But it was thoroughly refreshing to hear about a love that was the real deal, the mush and gush with the real stuff mixed in. And might I say they were a good looking couple, no wonder I'm stopping men dead in their tracks;) (with my looks you smart A siblings, my looks). She told me how they met in 8th grade while my grandpa took all of the girls mudding in his truck (mmm, driving rules were a bit more lax then huh?) and how he was crazy about her since that day. Kinda renewed my faith in the ol love scenario. She told me story after story of her childhood and her and grandpa, I wish SO badly that I would have had a tape recorder.

These, my dear friends are the original toquerville boys!! They've been around this long! For those of you who aren't familiar with the toquerville boys, there is almost always a group of boys-boys who cause trouble and have tons of fun, just the good ol fashioned boys and they are usually called the toquerville boys. Shout out to Kenny, Chase, Charles and the gang, you are but members of a secret aged fraternity. But my grandma said that's what they used to call them too and they held exactly the same reputation. God love em.

Uncle keith, Uncle David and my mommy, before she sold her skin to the indians. I think she looks like Melissa. Weird cause we all look nothing like her now. I love that I didn't get her dark skin, great bod and stellar complexion but I did get her hoof like heels. Genetics play some mean tricks. Not that I don't love my pale skin and curly hair pops....don't be offended.

Gma and her friends by the pool. I love those old suits. Funyny how social they were back then. My grandma told me they had friends over almost every day, people don't do that anymore, kind of a shame. But I'm also of a social nature = my demise.

Cutest pic ever of a relative.

Anyway, wouldn't trade that night for anything. Are you touched? Crying is ok, it's allergy season if insecurity engulfs you.

A Weekend Without Regret.....Even Though I Should Have Been Studying

2010-04-22T11:24:00.000-07:00

Well kids, it's been an eventful couple of weekends, as I will show you in the previous images. You may be saying, "Chelle, it's finals, how are you finding the time to endulge in such frivolous activities?" I like to think it's a gift. I have a gift to always find the funnest distractions right during finals time. Admittedly, this is somewhat of a curse as well, seeing as my studies are constantly put on the back burner, which we all know always burns the pudding because of its step-child location thus resulting in neglect and faulty desserts. Please don't ask where the comparison comes from, I'd rather not talk about it. Well, enough babble and more pics, seeing as the money maker is not my words, nor is it my looks....but reality TV has given talent-lacking gals like me a glimmer of hope.

Firstly, Friday I went to Eric's track meet. She is my dearest boyfriend and look at all that athleticism. I, of course wore spandex and a sports bra so as to feel included with all of the insanely chisled people who claim to be of my same age. I had to do something to decrease our obvious physical gaps, I think the spanx helped. Anyway, she is really good and I'm almost positive I will paint my chest next time. I don't even mind that she goes to BYU, how's that for friendship?

Thanks to shirls new supreme living location, we venture over to temple square quite frequently. I figure being on the grounds helps my chances of running into ol Tommy S. I've got a few ideas I'd like to run by him. Anyway, they have performances at the tabernacle every week and they are quite delightful. Plus we get to dress up and feel cultured, not that our southern Utah heritage deprives us of that or anything...:/

Next we have the Bees game season opener!!!! It was my first Bees game and it didn't disappoint. I LOVE baseball, because A-I'm an American and have a dose of pride in my country, B-that means it's getting warm outside, C- more weiners (hot dogs, get your mind out of the gutter) than ever need to be gathered in one place, and D- it's just a quality game and super fun atmosphere. I love that you get to take a blanket and sit in the outfield too. Have you ever noticed how much more friendly people are when joined together by patronism to the same sporting team? It's commradery unrivaled I tell you.

Oh, and the fireworks rocked my world. Have you ever been afraid that the little spark wouldn't die before it hit you whilst watching fireworks? Well the maternal-worries in me always have and it happened, multiple times. People were scared, eyes were nearly lost, limbs nearly charred. But the fireworks were phenom. But still, fire hazards are no joking matter.

Oh, and these beauties were the result of shaking one's head as fast as you can while the other takes a picture. It has some sort of intellectual value, of which I will find later.

Saturday Shirls and I made a delish breakfast. I have a thing for making a HUGE, amazing breakfast and then being gluttonously sick the rest of the day as a result. Its a love-hate relationship.
Since we're in the mode of discussing things I have non-condoned love for, lets segway into this past weekend. The Jazz, my boys, my homedogs, the cause for many a tear and many unregretted high tens. I have a huge thing for D-Will, Deron as I respectfully call him. I know that our love will probably never blossom past the spring of a newborn bud, but lusting is harmless...right tommy?

Anyways, awesome game, we won, as you all know, hopefully forever hushing the "Utah fans for Mello," commercials.

Ok, since you have been patient and read all about my normal life, possibly thinking to yourself, "Hey, that Rachelle girl seems to get it. Her life seems to have found that flow with waters drawn from the well of comfort and ease." I don't blame you in thinking this, for I constructed it to be this way between us. But here it is, the honesty that keeps me ever short of the whimsical R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Yep, another moment produced by good ol me to bring me off that high horse who's saddle I thought to be so comfortable. This one involves my professor Dave. Remember Dave? He's made a comeback, and it goes something like this:

Dave: Rachelle

Me: Oh no

Dave: I'm going to need your help today

Me: Are you sure?

Dave: Yep, you seem to not be as chipper as usual, so lets bring you up here to wake you up a tad, shall we?

Me: I'll drink 7 redbulls if you don't make me do whatever it is you are about to ask me to do.

Dave: Don't be silly, redbulls are bad for you and I'm giving you a priceless gift, the gift of humility. C'mon, don't be shy, come on up

I walk to the front of the classroom, pretty excited as I'm sure you can tell.

Dave: I would like you to demonstrate how a baby scoots

Me: huh?

Dave: Go ahead, get on the floor and scoot like a baby Ballard

Thus I get on the floor and do my best to 'scoot.' Now this, while embarrassing is nothing I can't live with. My classmates already think of me as the girl who would have to scoot like a baby in front of everyone. But then comes the good part. Those who know me well are probably familiar with atleast one or two incidences where I removed a piece of clothing only to remember that there wasn't as much clothing underneath as previously anticipated. Yep, you can probably guess. While trying to 'scoot' I kept getting caught on my sweatshirt, so using my Unversity paid for deductive reasoning skills, I decided to remove the sweatshirt. It's a morning class, so you think I would have remembered I decided to just go sportsbra and sweater that day...but no. So, as you probably predicted I removed my sweatshirt, almost entirely when the realization struck, in all its brutality and nudeness. There I am, on the floor, basically naked with a sweatshirt over my face.

Dave: Rachelle, I think we get the idea, you don't need to dress down to your diaper as well.

Me: Got it. Sorry for my gusto in pursuing the character.

Dave: You can go sit down now Ballard. I feel like you're awake now

Me: Thanks Dave

"I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship"

2010-04-08T16:03:00.000-07:00

Humphrey Bogart, that handsome devil. I watched Casablanca for the first time recently with my dear ol poppa Bruce. Yes, fellow Americans, I had not seen it before. Had you asked me previous to this I probably would have lied and said something like, "oh yeah, I've seen parts of it, but I can't really remember it." Lying. It's a problem. I'm working on it. Stop beating the horse, it's dead already. Anyway, I loved it. I'm thus hooked and would like to watch all of the acclaimed 'classics.' If any of you lovelies have any suggestions, please tell me, for in the near future I will not be hating my existence that's consumed with tests/exams/papers/articles/elitist professors, etc and will have time to watch movies and read books! I know, lets not count those chickens, they're still cookin in their hard shells. And yes, I do have a crush on Humphrey, no clue really what it is, but he's got that old fashioned, hardened mystique to him that makes me feel like I understand how my grandma could have been hormony (Matt's coined phrase for hormonal/horny) at some point.

Azul and Purple Pansie - A Rocky Romance

When I returned from spring break I was feeling a tad saddened because of my inevitable return to the dastardly cold. But, to my utter delight Shirls had a surprise for me to help in my re-adaptation to the chilly conditions. KITES!!! I haven't flown kites in forever and I was giddy as a school girl (I feel like a hypocrite saying that phrase....cause I am a school girl, and rarely do I find that to be the reason for any giddyness). This also made think, "DUH! it's always windy in H-town, why did we never fly kites?" This then made me mad at my ancestry, not because they did not suggest it, but because of their non-innovative genetics that would make me not think of it. Rotten genes.
Anyway, it was the most beautiful evening, seriously, as good as it gets, prime, one in a million and tons of other cliches that demonstrate a perfect evening. Azul, the blue kite, flew like an all-star. Purple Pansie, the more complicated of the two, proved to be troublesome and we never did get her flying. We even put a meal at Rodizzios on whoever could get her to see past her stubbornness and get airborne. To no avail.
On a more spiritual level, this perfect evening with a beautiful sunset and good times made me think of a story my dad tells about kites. For those of you who know the pants of my family, Bruce is an amazing public speaker. He tells stories better than cheech and chong smoke weed, beckham bends the ball, or finals stress me out. I found the story he tells, and to be honest, he tells it way better than it is written, but I'll share it with you cause ...well, there need not be an explanation for every blasted thing

The tree is Shirls bitter enemy, he got the kites stuck in there multiple times. And I was the one being reprimanded for flying poorly. Bah!

The Day We Flew The Kites
The day we flew kites "String!" shouted Brother, bursting into the kitchen. "We need lots more string." It was Saturday. As always, it was a busy one, for "Six days shalt thou labor and do all thy work" was taken seriously then. Outside, Father and Mr. Patrick next door were doing chores. Inside the two houses, Mother and Mrs. Patrick were engaged in spring cleaning. Such a windy March day was ideal for "turning out" clothes closets. Already woolens flapped on back yard clotheslines. Somehow the boys had slipped away to the back lot with their kites. Now, even at the risk of having Brother impounded to beat carpets, they had sent him for more string. Apparently, there was no limit to the heights to which kites would soar today. My mother looked at the sitting room, its furniture disordered for a Spartan sweeping. Again her eyes wavered toward the window. Come on girls! "Let's take string to the boys and watch them fly the kites a minute." On the way we met Mrs. Patrick, laughing guiltily, escorted by her girls. There never was such a day for flying kites! God doesn't make two such days in a century. We played all our fresh twine into the boys' kites and still they soared. We could hardly distinguish the tiny, orange-colored specks. Now and then we slowly reeled one in, finally bringing it dipping and tugging to earth, for the sheer joy of sending it up again. What a thrill to run with them, to the right, to the left, and see our poor, earth-bound movements reflected minutes later in the majestic sky-dance of the kites! We wrote wishes on slips of paper and slipped them over the string. Slowly, irresistibly, they climbed up until they reached the kites. Surely all wishes would be granted. Even our Fathers dropped hoe and hammer and joined us. Our mothers took their turn, laughing like schoolgirls. Their hair blew out their pompadour and curled loose about their cheeks; their gingham aprons whipped about their legs. Mingled with our fun was something akin to awe. The grownups were really playing whith us! Once I looked at Mother and thought she looked actually pretty. And her over forty! We never knew where the hours went on that hilltop that day. There were no hours, just a golden breeze now. I think we were all beside ourselves. Parents forgot their duty and their diginty; children forgot their combativeness and small spites. "Perhaps it's like this in the kingdom of Heaven," I thought confusedly. It was growing dark before, drunk with sun and air, we all stumbled sleepily back to the houses. I suppose we had some sort of supper. I suppose there must have been a surface tidying-up, for the house on Sunday looked decorous enough. The strange thing was, we didn't mention that day afterward. I felt a little embarrassed. Surely none of the others had thrilled to it as deeply as I. I locked the memory up in that deepest part of me where we keep "the things that cannot be and yet they are." The years went on, then one day I was scurrying about my own kitchen in a city apartment, trying to get some work out of the way while my three-year old insistently cried her desire to "go park and see ducks." "I can't go!" I said. "I have this and this to do, and when I'm through I'll be too tired to walk that far." My mother, who was visiting us, looked up from the peas she was shelling. "It's a wonderful day," she offered; "really warm, yet there's a fine, fresh breeze. It reminds me of that day we flew kites." I stopped in my dash between stove and sink. The locked door flew open and with it a gush of memories. I pulled off my apron. "Come on" I told my little girl. "You're right, it's too good a day to miss." Another decade passed. We were in the aftermath of a great war. All evening we had been asking our returned soldier, the youngest Patrick Boy, about his experiences as a prisoner of war. He had talked freely, but now for a long time he had been silent. What was he thinking of -- what dark and dreadful things? "Say!" A smile twitched his lips. "Do you remember -- no, of course you wouldn't. It probably didn't make the impression on you it did on me." I hardly dared speak. "Remember what?" "I used to think of that day a lot in PW camp, when things weren't too good. Do you remember the day we flew the kites?" Winter came, and the sad duty of call of condolence on Mrs. Patrick, recently widowed. I dreaded the call. I couldn't imagine how Mrs. Patrick could face life alone. We talked a little of my family and her grandchildren and the changes in the town. Then she was silent, looking down at her lap. I cleared my throat. Now I must say something about her loss, and she would begin to cry. When she looked up, Mrs. Patrick was smiling. "I was just sitting here thinking," she said. "Henry had such fun that day. Frances, do you remember the day we flew the kites?" -- Frances Fowler

mediocre birds

2010-03-29T15:54:00.000-07:00

Fact: I need a job
Fact: I need a job in the salt lake arena
Fact: I hate most jobs. I feel they stifle my otherwise free-as-a-bird, life-loving attitude.
Tid Bit: I have no money. This is what I would publish as 'fact,' but I'm fully aware of a impoverished population that would say I am a whiner and an ungrateful nincapoop.
Tid Bit: If Obama doesn't give me back some serious cash from taxes I will hence move to Canada where they have a similar government that he is reaching for and have done it for much longer. I trust longevity.
Opinion: Patriotism is overrated
Disclaimer: I didn't really mean the that
Fact: In this quest for a job, which by the way has left me with an ever declining self esteem rating, I decided to stop looking at 'cute' locations that should have been jumping to hire me upon realizing my charismatic brilliance and a game face that could sell ice to an Eskimo! Anyway, upon stopping to contemplate I thought, "Chelle, what are your viable skills?" This left me feeling tired. So, after all this contemplation it hit me and it didn't tickle when it hit my friends, I have no viable skills! Yes, dear siblings, I know you all have multiple unabashed witty comments to throw out, but please, do remember the fragile state of my self esteem. After a full day of being rejected and applying at jobs I'm sure I'd hate, the worst happened. I started talking to myself... and I listened.
The conversation with myself went like this:
Self: If pride is now a past luxury, why not just apply wherever you want Chelle?!
Me: Good idea, self!
Self: What would you like to do?
Me: Well, coaching the womens soccer team at the U would be fun.
Self: Well, gehead, give it a whirl.

So, dear readers, I hope you can't guess what I did next, but yep, I called the coach of the University of Utah's womens soccer team. Our convo went a little something like this (mind you this is not verbatim, but you'll get the general idea):
Coach: Hello
Me: Hello coach, my name is Rachelle Ballard and I would like to offer my services to you and your team.
Coach: Services?
Me: Yes, I am a student at the U and I would like to work for you and the team. So, can you put me to work?
Coach: I'm pretty confused at what you're asking.
Me: Yeah, I can see how that could happen. Mostly I just wanted to know if you need any help with your upcoming season?
Coach: You want to be our manager or something?
Me: Does that pay?
Coach: mmm, not really.
Me: Nope. Got anything else?
Coach: Afraid not. But thanks for being so willing to help.
Me: Your welcome.
Yep. I have hit rock bottom folks. I have nothing else to say. Do you blame me? Needless to admit, if you have any good, VIABLE job options that you think would suit my summer fancy, do let me know.
Now that you see us in the same line-up it doesn't seem like such a far-fetched idea huh!?

Dog Tags

2010-03-24T13:10:00.001-07:00

Many young men and young women have bitten the bullet and decided that their well-being and general sanity are second in priority to the call of duty issued by the Big Guy. Despite there being a war going on, a couple of fools still deem it necessary to enlist and put on their dog tags (or name tag, tomatoe-tamata) and faithfully sing the "Lets Get Down To Business To Defeat The Huns song (feel free to replace Huns with gentiles, it may make this a tad more applicable). My dearest friend and comrade Leonard Triggets Wilson is just so one of those tiny tots. I'm super proud of him and I refuse to write a whole heap about it because I'm still meandering through the 'denial' stage of the whole ordeal. I plan to live there happily for...mmm, give or take 18 months-ish. This may shock you ever optimistic blog stalkers, but I have only a few peeps who really get my gizzards, Lenny is just such a pioneer. I'm gonna miss her like crazy, but I'm beyond proud of her. If you missed her farewell talk you missed a lot of spiritual things making nests in your cranium. Fare thee well Sister Blister of my heart, I'm pretty sure those Guatemalans won't get your jokes, but will love your innate ability to eat even the yuckiest of entres.

God Bless Pierre!
On a lighter note, Shirley and I dined at for brunch (right before the first lunch and way before actual lunch) at a new local treasure. BY FAR the best waffles my once naive taste buds have ever been introduced to. I believe they sparked a friendship, my taste buds and the waffles. I hope it's a lasting one and not one solely based on lust, we all know how bitterly those can end. Anyway, if you're ever in the SLC hood, check it out.
http://www.brugeswaffles.com/ (looky who got all technologically savvy:) )

Snot, tears, and yesteryear's tiny tots

2010-03-10T22:16:00.000-08:00

Doesn't that title just summon you right on in? Wale, the thang is Tina, I'm sick... I don't think I love the idea of my immune system putting up the white flag and taking a water break. I mean I understand it works hard, but I just wish maybe it would find a substitute or an alternate when it decides to be MIA, I hope I don't sound too demanding. I hate that I sniffle constantly in class. I'm an infamous sniffle-hater. If I hear a sniffle within ear shot of my general location I immediately bust out my 'eyes of disgust,' very similar to Mr. Potato head's 'angry eyes.'
I am here again with zip photos to share with the good people, for this I apologize. I heard a statistic on the radio that said over 60 somethin percent of Americans don't know how to use their technological gadgets besides the very basics. I am here to say I stand at the top end of the 60 somethin. I would like a nice camera, but then again t'why? I wouldn't know how to optimize its many fascinating features, so as they say in A River Runs Through It, "No man who doesn't know how to fish should ever disgrace one by catching it." Or something distinctly similar to that, I may have butchered it. Anywho, we had to read this story in my journalism class and it was like having to watch Extreme Home Makeover in front of 30 skeptical, pretentious college searing eyes. It's extremely well written and it provokes emotion in such a non-cliche or annoying way. It follows a man in the military whose sole purpose is to go to the homes of fallen soldiers and inform their families. Have you ever even thought that is someone's job? Can you even fathom? I often think about random jobs, like the man who works in the crane near my home. What would it be like to hike the tower of babel every morning to clock in? Anyway, I'm sharing this piece of journalism with you because I love it and hereby want all of you to ruin your technological gadgets by bawling on them. The great equalizer!
http://www.rockymountainnews.com/news/2005/nov/11/final-salute/
(sorry, don't really know how to make it so you can just click on it and go. Need I validate any further on the aforementioned technological war?).

OK! You kids, I sure did get ya, here's some pics I took pics of (so, these are pictures of pictures. Classy? Yes please). These just made me chuckle and reminisce and yet again, tear up. If you never knew Macintosh, the neighborhood candyman (before that sort of thing was creepy) then you missed out on an essential happiness provided by 60 east in H-town. Sweetest man ever who let me and Charmaine watch Gumbi all day and eat every Hostess product we could find in his humble cottage. And the pic of Mel just makes me chuckle every time, sums her up so well I think.

Do all you hurricane-ites remember these days? The homecoming parade days, before the dreadful days of the h-town/3-falls split we were all one, united in our adolescence. We would sit on the curb while the 'insanely cool' high schoolers would ride by on their fourwheelers and trucks. Ah, to be young and not know how horrendous my hair cut was....

mmm...who's that cute curly-haired favorite on his lap?

This pic makes me miss wet n' wild. DISCLAIMER: This photo was not taken at wet n wild. Prob quail lake, back when it was the shiz slash the only literal option.

God Bless the UK

2010-02-23T17:29:00.000-08:00

I love my major. It's just true. I realized today while discussing it with a poor sap who chose chemistry that my major is truly the bees knees and the bananas pajamas. It's challenging (I have a couple of grades to prove it), but it's entirely enrapturing and the professors are not pretentious in the least. The biggest benefit is easily that you can wear gym clothes each and every day and not only is it ok, it's expected! Could I be more blessed? I'll quit bragging about my life, cause it's always a smidge annoying when people do it. Not that I'm not unhappy for all those perfectly content in their sitch, but isn't it always a tad obnoxious to read about someone brag for a lengthy time? It reminds me of the line on P and P (pride and prejudice for those of you without ovaries) when the delightful Mr. Collins says to the Bennett family, "I thought I might read to you all for an hour or two from the four dice sermons." Classic. Anyways, I digress.
So, I have a professor, Dave. Yep, just Dave. He is from London and despite having been here for over 20 years is still intent on making sure we all know how much better the monarchy is to our falling Obamerica ( am I the first to come up with that? Cause it just came out and I can't help but look back and be pretty proud of myself. Proof is in the pudding! I am paying a fortune for education!). But, he is a hilarious chap and is constantly cracking jokes and more importantly making fun of people. I, luckily, happen to be one of his favorites to pick on. Here are a couple of our convos in class:
Dave: "I would like all of you to wear appropriate attire to class, so we can move around a bit and now rip our nickers. Ah, Rachelle, come on up to the front of the class would you?
I hesitantly walk to the front of the classroom.
Dave: "Now here is an example of what to wear to class. Rachelle has conveniently worn her track pants to class on the first day. So dress like her, but...do feel free to do your hair."
Me: "May I sit down now Dave?"
Dave: "Naw, take a minute to bask in your glory."

Dave: "Rachelle, do you have a rubber in your bag?"
Me: "What?!"
Dave: "Yes Rachelle, a rubber. Don't act so surprised, I've seen you using one before.
Me: "Dave, I'm pretty sure you have not seen me use a rubber before." The amount of redness on my face could provide blush for albinos across the globe.
Dave: "Come on Rachelle, I just need one, I'm not going to take your whole stash."
The entire class is just reveling it in at this point.
Me: "I SWEAR I do not have a spare or any other kind of rubber in my bag.
Dave: "You don't have one pencil in your bag?"
Me: (entirely confused) "Huh?"
Dave: "You know, the thing to erase what you don't want on your bloody paper for goodness sake!"
That's when it hit him. Darn those semantics! The word my otherwise on-the-ball teach was looking for was eraser. In England apparently they call them rubbers. His pride was injured so he let us out early. That still hasn't stopped the class from calling me Trojan lately. Nice

Party Like A Poncho and Stop This Craze Called The Internet!

2010-02-09T15:51:00.001-08:00

Sorry for the fuz. BIRD UPDATE: Sonya, which she is rarely called, is doing well. She loves humans and loves pecans. Except for a couple of incidences she does not poop on so said humans that she loves. Actually recently she pooped on a fellow at a certain social gathering I'll mention later and every female in the place was inwardly excited about it. Animals..Such an innate sense of character. She loves climbing up people and she WILL find a way to do it. Her new favorite trick is to climb up my shoes,pants,shirt and eventually land on my head where she will then plant her feet in my hair (yeah, bird feet in curly hair ROCKS) and then peer over my face, like a type of bang and just look me in the eyes. It's decently funny, but hugely inconvenient when homework is brought forth. Noah loves the bird, unless it comes near him and whenever I go over he immediately says, "did you bring the bird!?' Now I know how my siblings with children feel when they come over....second rate. Matt pretends to hate it, but he actually loves it, I've seen him cuddling it several times. Sucker.

So cute cats, I have a pile, nay an ever literal Everest of books awaiting to be read, studied and cognitively interpreted by yours truly. But, true to heart (as nick and the boys would say during the ending credits of Mulan) I will catch up on the current events of my being.
I get dictionary.com's word of the day each day. It makes me happy and I get excited when it's a funky word and I, with brutal force, attempt to use it in my day. I thought I would make this a bit interactive and pretend like virtual friends can fill the gaps in a school-trodden social calendar.
So here are some words to describe some people I know:
Meg = Autotonsorialist
April = Colposinquanonia
Madi = Dompteuse
Kyle = Farctate (such a good one, in sound and definition I think)
Honorificabilitudinitatibus - no people, just crazy cool word
Entire Scholzen and Ballard family = lalochezia
All of my mother's grandchildren = mammothrept
Nancy slash Mother = quidnunc
Judy (jessica Judy that is) = tarantism
Erica = viraginity
Both Matts = strikhedonia
Melissa = preantepenultimate
Noah = inaniloquent

Anywho, those are just a couple. If I didn't list your name it is NOT because there is not an unusual word to describe you. In fact, it may mean you are too unusual for poor ol Webster to keep up with. That's the story I'm sticking with anyway.

Enough barminess for now (yep, another dictionary.com winner meaning frivolous). We had ourselves a bit of a social gathering, often called a party by younger folk, for Poncho's big 22 bday! I sure do like that small bundle of sarcasm. She gets my goat if ya get my drift.

There was lots of fun peeps, weird lee/judy style of dancing (yes please!) and way too many folks for one tree house to accomodate = such a happy shell.Fave pic - gavin was practicing his gangsta moves in the mirror and thought no one was watching. Hint gav...I'm always watching.

Notice sonya making her party debut on poncho. Dang good lookin bird.

Matthew Shirley and I also joined the hype and went and saw Avatar, or "Avatard" as Matt calls it. Can you guess his sentiments? Yeah, he's pretty mad at his faithful Rotten Tomatoes for giving it a good rating. I didn't hate it, thought it was a cool idea, but correct me if I'm wrong, did or did not Fern Gully get the same point across and in 2 1/2 hours less? Speaking of which I recently purchased the forest magic for less than 5 dollars at Wallys. Best purchase of the year...? A resounding yes. I have pics of us in our 3D glasses, but they came out not only blurry but horrendous on the optics. Hard to believe, right? But here is a sign we passed on the way home. Couldn't help ourselves. Mostly Matt couldn't help himself. STD's deserve celebrations too! And what a bargain!
Taco Tuesday!!!
So Matt and his man-crush and simultaneous best friend Josh, his wife megan and their little boy JP have thus included me in their Taco Tuesday fiesta. We go over there, religiously mind you, every Tuesday for tacos, American Idol laughs, and Jazz games. It's fun and Josh and Megan are pretty fun peeps. And yes, they somehow cook enough food for me AND Matt. A feat few have accomplished in this mortal test. This is a pic of Matt and JP. Ironic that they look remarkably similar. Either Matt has got youth on his side or this baby is reaching his 30's straight outta the womb. Undecided.

Last and probably definitely least, seeing as all the cool thangs I've given you to dwell on, I would like to discuss technology. Despite my utter 'fed-upness' of school at the moment, I watched an interesting documentary in my Comm class recently. It was called Digital Nation. I believe it is on KUED and is still running, I HIGHLY recommend you tune in, or download it. It was a mind boggling study of what mass media has done to our society. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not going avatar on your bones, demanding we wear granola and drive mud-ran vehicles, but it really opened my eyes to what is happening around me, and I've been too distracted...well, with media to notice. If you go to a education campus anywhere you will see that 4 out of 5 students are on their cell phones, laptops, iphones, etc. I realized I've been too busy shoving my head in a screen and I'm missing out on what college offers - distinct human interaction. An opportunity to share opinions and ideas like in no other venue. But it's not just in Universities, its everywhere. People are literally using things like Second Life to conduct business meetings. They create a character and live vicariously through this character to conduct meetings, business 'get aways,' and more. Anyway, I totally recommend it. It was even done by the man who wrote Cyberia, an internet-loving book in the early 2000s. It was a good eye-opener for me. And for those of you who want to be apart of our SuperBowl fun, check out summers blog, she does a cuter job than me anyhow.

Whoah! (said in the Joey Lawrence voice from 'Blossom')

2010-01-27T15:25:00.000-08:00

HAPPY BDAY MEGGER!!! YOU SERIOUSLY WEIRD CHILD. I MISS YOU LIKE CRAZY AND I'VE GOT SOME MORE MOVES TO TEACH YA:)

*Since I can't be in H-town for the infamous birthday celebrations, here is my totally intricate and dollar-savvy way of wishing two of the weirdest but funniest people I know a happy bday. I should have always assumed Meg and Althea were born in the same month. Freakin horoscopes are always dead on;).

HAPPY FREAKIN BDAY ALTHEA!!!!

The Cutest and Fatest Boy I know:)

bugger

2010-01-21T22:00:00.000-08:00

So, I'm fully aware that one should never post when in the sentimental mood (as I've stated before it's just romanticizing the fact that you're tired), but everyone falls of the sensical horse and tonight is that so said night for me. I'm feeling a bit confused, frustrated and just really confused. I can't decide what to do with several little details of my existence and while compaired to major earthquakes, drunk politicians, and the ongoing debacle between werewolf and vampire, my life dilemmas may seem pretty insignificant. But, nonetheless they are overwhelming me bit by bit. Journalism degree? Job? Roomate? And many more that your nosey self doesn't need to be concerned with. But, in my nutrition class today I had a small epiphany. We were discussing body image, which is mostly what the course is about, and discussing our bias's we have regarding people's appearance, particularly fat or obese people. I realized that I am super judgemental and what a total inconvenience that is considering my major is dealing with people who need help with their weight, not Bob and Jillian's who need help maintaining their perfect figures. I have had this false sense of superiority, thinking that it is my mission to go out there and make all the fat people skinny and hence create self esteem across the globe! lofty resolutions, eh? I realized also that being bigger does not mean you are lazy! After discussing the physiological and psychological 'nitty-gritty's' of obesity I realize that it is I who have been extremely naive. I've always been an 'eat right and exercise! It's literally that simple.' But guess what my avid readers, it sometimes is not that simple. So to all people who have felt judged, blatantly ignored, or told that you need to lose weight (obviously bigger people know that they are big, seriously people we need to stop stating the obvious. Also if you see someone particularly tall I PROMISE you don't need to comment on their height, they are fully aware), I am deeply sorry. I am so sorry if I have ever made you feel like less of a person because you didn't have the cookie-cutter image that I have unfortunately bought into. Being skinny does NOT mean you are fit, it simply means you are skinny...for the time being. After being in this degree I have learned that being fit has nothing to do with how you look. But this is not to downplay the importance of exercise and a good diet, they really will do wonders and are the figurative magic pill people are searching for. Just don't underestimate the complexity.
I also realized with this mind-blower of moments in Hyper N room138 that I have been absurdly blessed. I'm going to probably sound extremely pompous and annoying, but I assure you my intentions are nothing but angelic. I have been extremely blessed to have a body that can do whatever I ask it to (minus the splits or anything regarding flexibility. Dang those toes, their always just so far away). I am secure with how I look, but don't be fooled that I'm more psychologically sound than the next bloak, I have just been given a healthy frame to function in. Some people are asked to deal with bodies that prevent them from doing many things they want to do. People don't always not do things because they are lazy. CRAZY! I'm just glad that that particular burden hasn't been mine to bear, and I hope that from the awesome professors and this way cool major I can make life a bit easier and less harsh to those who were maybe asked to deal with a struggle in an unsympathetic world.
One more point on this post with no cool pics or worthwhile jokes, I want to plead with people, whomever you may be, to stop reading the trash that fills our minds with discouraging thoughts and unrealistic expectations. There are SO many good magazines and such out there that supports health and happy living without asking you to stretch your face till it lies flat against your cerebrum and run till your stomach literally has to start feeding on your skin. I'm just as guilty as the next life-form of reading the smut and saying out loud, "she is so skinny it's not even attractive." But even looking at that trash implants ridiculous crap in your gizzards that will shew its ugly head later. So, even though you may want to junk punch me for sounding preachy, despite how much I hate that and hope I don't, try with me to read only things that will help us be secure with what we were given and cash in on our natural gift cards. How rude is it to be dissatisfied with these miraculous bodies that work in mind boggling ways? The end and one more apology for the road

Thwuangles and Biting the Dust

2010-01-14T14:07:00.000-08:00

Well if it isn't a few days into 2010, eh? Yes, I realize it's nearly half way into the first month, but do not judge, blogging is a time suck sometimes (plus I realized something, I am willingly giving my lurking enemies somewhere out there a whole heap of info. My personal memoirs here, on a virtual platter for them to devour at any time they choose. Not very intelligent on my part). Before I seep my paws into dishing out the events of the past moon cycle, I would like to pose a question: What is with the words they make you type to sign into your account on google? Seriously. My titles namesake is actually inspired from the one I had to decode just today. Thwuangles. Yep, thwuangles. I know it's to protect every hard working mother who's tiny tots may stumble on to their computer whilst they are blogging, and type some embarrassing family story or four-lettered, tongue soaper (april). But honestly, I ALWAYS just guess as to what letters are there. I feel like it's a trick question. You want me to decode that twisted, mangled, mess of letters just to access my own account? I would like to be hired as the cowgirl that comes up with those words. T'would be a pretty fun gig. Soap box. Sorry.
On another note, as my mom would say, I live in a 'dirty city.' The air is yucky. I'm pretty sure you shouldn't be able to chew the air. But, what do I know. Biting the dust, or air, literally.

Barbara and Gavin's Wedding:

My dear little brazilian got hitched. She just so happened to marry the sweetest guy in this earthly realm. The reception was beautiful and I officially agree with everything Brazilian. They eat a lot of good food, dance, and eat a bit more. Pretty sure there's a scripture about it, something about how men are that they might have joy. Congrats Barb and Vin!

My camera happy comrades

Eachother's only hope for a similar scene someday

I love this pic of judy and Lee. They were the musical entertainment and they did amazing

Santa Has A Crush On Me

I got some sweet thangs from santa this year, I am absolutely convinced he has a crush on me.

I admit it, I am a spoiled, rotten, bearnstein-bear-book-worthy-punk. I have so many awesome people that love me and express that love in crazy cool, thoughtful gifts. I'm crazy lucky. How cool is this for snow

And yes, at the bird ins now my constant companion. Sorry no pics of the bird, her pretty stellar set up, as always thanks to linnie and maddie. Her name, thanks to Bruce is Sonya. Which I just found out from a Nepali girl I tutor means 'golden.' Nice pops. But she is called many things as a result of disaccord on name-agreeance: Mr. S (roomates), Ladya (matt - he claims since we don't absolutely know the gender it's the only appropriate option), Sonie (meg), and I'm sure more to come. She loves people, still not saying any words and poops...A LOT. But, cool fact, she is potty trained and flies off people if she needs to do the duty. cool eh? Minus Chels Stout, sorry dog.

Near Death and Crazy Chaps

I went sledding/snowmobiling with a few H-town hometowners and had a phenom time. Minus Tyson nearly dying when flying off a cliff and snowmobiles being slightly less than pristine the trip was an overall success and I had tons of fun.

Tyson's escapades off a cliff. He took out that tree, roots and all.
Tys thought he could make some good hot cocoa if he just heated up this barrel of snow. Good in theory.

Tyson Gubler, Whitney Spendlove, Axton Hoyt, Gabe Phillips, Me, Annie Marsh, Chancen Hall, and Callin Nay. Cute little pile of punks, eh?

me and whit. You wouldn't believe how happy we were to be on safe ground. No offense boys.

I'm super bummed cause I had a lot more pics of our fun in the snow, I know you don't lose your composure about it, but they were good ones and my camera is being...shall we say, dumb. Sorry guys, I'll get you the pics soon.

Just a shout out to the man who restored my faith in the gospel. We all went to church with Adam and Summer when Ava got sealed and Grant and her got blessed. This man made the whole congregation rehearse and sing the halelujah chorus....in sacrament meeting...with drums. It was honestly awesome. I laughed for a full hour. He shouted and hollered and called people out. It was great. Also the drummer was an 80 year old man, whom we later found out has a 6 year old a 13 year old. Zip joke. Never had more fun at church. I feel like it is the closest I've ever been to a southern, black rock n roll church that I've longed for. Of course me and mel had to have a pic with him.

Sister Blisters!

Two of my best friends, and close to only friends have decided to give up on love and pursue a mish. just kiddin guys. I'm super happy for them, but majorly bummed.

Lee: Guatemala (can't spell the first part)

Tan: Eugene, Oregon

Bring on the Books!!!

2009-12-17T10:06:00.000-08:00

Friends, Family, Loved Ones, Neighbors, Fellow Mormons, Fellow Americans, Comrades in Collegiate/Non-Collegiate Circles, Partners in/or just finishing final-ridden hell, and all others that find themselves directly or abstractly related to myself.....I'm done! Another semester and week of nazi-induced finals are done, finito, reached their inevitable conclusion, R.I.P.'d in the cemetery of my cerebrum, etc. Did I pass, you ask? Please do not ask trivial, complicated questions in the height of my celebratory blog please. Who cares about grades right now, all that matters is I'm done...and I survived. I might look a bit worse for the wear, but supposedly I'm 'smarter' now.

Things I look forward to doing with 3 weeks of study free living:
Read all the books my little eyes can consume, and then if they give out I will take up brail.
Watch vast amounts of movies, undoubtedly none of them being educational.
Play with new bird (name still pending)
Enjoy a land free of snow. God bless you Hurricane.
Eat mommy's cooking till my gizzards writhe and evetually give out.
Those are just a few, my agenda is pretty full.

Here are some random pics of the recent month:

This was at a live nativity near Matt's house. It was amazing! They made this entire river bank/park into a walk through Bethlehem. Best part was no-brainer the free hot chocolate and homemade rolls. Yes, that is me petting a camel. I had to get physical with quite a few tiny tots to get some one on one time with the hairy devil. FYI: camels are crazy soft.

That is Lee sleeping on my bed. Find anything strange about this image? She sleeps in the weirdest ways.

*I would also like to give a shout out to my dearest friend Eric James (Erica Jane), who won the 'ugliest' award at a recent party. Congrats you cute little boy, you never let us down.

Pilgrims and Voldemort

2009-12-09T10:05:00.001-08:00

Yep, that's veronica just casually holding a pistol, such a scarface pose.

The only person who ever consistently hits anything

Look how happy we are before the run, so naive.

Thanksgiving,

Could there be a better holiday? This, in every way, is a rhetorical question, because it is an obvious 'NAY! There could not!' The entire tradition is based around food. I don't know any of those Indian-befriending pilgrims personally, but I do indeed appreciate what they have done for the quality of living in my November days. It's just all in all my favorite holiday. Fun Fact About Rachelle #7,892. This vacation based trip down to So. Ute was another success. I know, my new obsession with firearms has got to be controlled, and quick. First came the always feared, always regretted, but always participated-in Turkey Trot. Seriously never fails to be the hardest run of the year. Sorry you puked your innards out Em, you're still a lady in my eyes. The fam dam then did the annual skeet shooting out past my favorite pliggys, ate pie whilst shooting, and then proceeded to the home front, where linnie lou lived up to her infamous title as best chef in North America (refer to recent Parks & Rec episode). My favorite, and fairly new tradition added to the Ballard & Co Thanksgiving Table is that of the hate-fest. Last year me and a couple of my DNA-binding comrades, aka siblings/cousins, decided instead of doing the traditional every-person-says-what-they're-thankful-for-before-devouring-mouth-watering-delicatessens, we should all say one thing we REALLY hate while we are eating. It is now a smash hit and I usually laugh an adequate amount for at least one side serving to come out of my nose. Kudos family, kudos. Later that weekend we went paintballing. My very first paintballing experience. Memorable. Painful. Colorful? I actually thoroughly enjoyed the paintballing practice, until I actually got hit in the last game. I'm not going to condemn myself and say that I was a clean-mouthed saint upon being struck...for I was not. Even Linnie lou joined in, she being the reason I was hit 3 times. Thanks mother, your protective instincts for your young cannot be rivaled.

Little G-ma thelma was a trooper, a hypothermic trooper

Cute little Andy Pandy fell into the river between games. Hence the nudity. Bless his heart. Don't worry, we made sure he didn't surrender in vain.

Lastly and Highly most importantly comes the topic of the newest member of my fave five. that adorable little bird is soon to be in my life, apart of me, the Watson to my Holmes. I believe him coming into my life is a very symbolic testament that the heavens are happy with my current life choices. Don't ask how I got that interpretation, it's all very metaphorical. But, here is the dilemma. Bird needs a name. I am all set to embark on our feathered journey together, it must have a name worthy of the adventures we are likely to pursue. So, I'm open to suggestions. The top picks as of now are: Suki (gilmore girls fans will appreciate), Voldemort, and Professor. Please add any others you see fit. We don't know the gender of these birds unless we do a DNA test, I figure this to be a benefit seeing as you may pick any feminine or testosterone filled name you choose.

Nothin But A G-Thang Baby / Mommy - Myth? Nay, Legend

2009-11-24T18:31:00.000-08:00

What is this you ask? Me, Rachelle, Ms. Ballard if you will, taking a loaded weapon and firing of her own free will and choice? Yes dear readers, this is not a cyber hoax, it is me. It's me, shamelessly practicing my Obama-inhibiting second ammendment right to bear freaking arms. I perhaps appear to be hypocritical to a few specimens that have the pleasure of knowing me well. I have never been a lover of guns, and if given the choice on a multiple choice survey or a government sponsored ballot, I would vote for the disintegration of all guns. Never have loved em. But, after complaining about school for 1,739 hours to Matt and calling it 'stupid' over and over (yes, I know, my verbiage should place me in a scholastic literary hall-of-fame at this point. My brain is fried. don't judge me) Matt took me to a shooting range, placed that 40cal in my stubby costco-hotdog fingers and let me go crazy. Can I just say that It felt great, nay, it was intoxicating/prodigious/euphoric. I know understand all the hype. Although I still do not endorse the whole hunting practice (do not put antlers on me and hide all of my orange all southern utahns, please), I did, however, love this arena of steel and powder. Can I just say that I think I loved it because usually, when the relate-ives go shooting clay pigeons (why are they called pigeons and not hockey pucks?) I usually .... well, suck for a lack of better words. BIG time. Those infamous little devils are wiley and refuse to be hit by my bullets. But at this Get Some Guns and Ammo I was at the top of my game. If you'll notice my 'grouping,' as Ted at the shop told me it was called, is quite good. All of the shots on the hostage were aimed there, FYI. Skanky hostages deserve a lesson or two, Ya win some Ya lose some.

In the end and most importantly, I fully suspect my street cred to up 52 points.

Mommy.

That's what friends/roomates/classmates, etc know my mother as. They all just call her mommy. All of you that know her will be bored because the amazingness of the woman is already concreted in your cabeza no doubt. Also everyone knows that I only have friends because of the endless benefits mommy provides. If I was a missionary, peeps would be begging to be my comp - because of my testimony and people skills? False, because of the packages sent by mommy, easy. Fact: I am blessed, aka spoiled. Fact: Mommy has made my college life a breeze. Fact: If you ever hear me complain you have every god-given right to not only slap me but to paralyze my very tongue. I get frequent little goodies from the home front and they are always desirable little delicatessans. Let me just boast for a moment on how amazing mommy is just this week:

She MADE this cute little coat rack.

she MADE this jewelry frame

She brings me funnies...my favorite of all the gifts. ZITS and Dilbert, what would my morning be without you?

You'll notice in the box some granola, cleaning supplies, new tubberware (I do NOT feel bad that I can't spell tubberware. I feel like it aids the feminist movement), and all sorts of little goodies.

Thanks mommy SO much for everything. You're a diamond in the roughest patches of humans and only the Book of Life in the C-kingdom will ever know t'why I didn't recieve any of your domestic abilities or general sweetness....I blame father.

REM was right. It's The End of The World As We Know It

2009-11-03T15:25:00.000-08:00

November

It's a great month. I actually love it. A couple of my favorite people were born this month. Please, don't feel saddened if you're not a scorpio, it's not your fault, it's your parents. Among these people is my dear old dad, my paps, pappa bear, punky brucester, etc. If you know me I have probably bragged about my father to you. It's not something I'm proud of, it's a habit....so sue me. One thing that I refrain from adding in the list of 'my dad is better than your dad at....' is his overwhelming naivety of the technological tongue. He is clueless, bless his heart. But, for the big boys fifty third, whether because a lack of gift ideas or a distinct sense of humor, his gift this year was a blackberry. Yep, a blackberry. Those cute, trendy little life managers the size of cracker. I find this hilarious. I'm excited about it. So, get the man's number and email and send him any fun little tid bits you want and we can imagine together the hilarity of him trying to find out how to read slash open it. Good luck pops, expect many a game-face sent from my blackberry to yours.

On another note, life has been crazy nuts. School, housing, friends, etc. It's just been a bit hectic. I pride myself in not getting stressed out, and I have been bordering that ever cursed word and I'm ashamd and baffled. So, yesterday after my run, (in a beautiful, fall stricken SLC mind you, quite warm too = god loves me) I was lying on the grass median that runs through my street doing a bit of needed stretching. *sidenote: I'm terribly unflexible. I hate it. I found out that despite my constant struggle with it, it will never become easy. It's genetic. Thanks parents. Thanks a heep. Anyway, I was laying there stretching my lower lumbar and I stopped and just stared at the sky for a bit. It was mesmorizing. I just layed there thinking nothing thoughts for about 5 mintues. I love the sky. So, I have thus been making it a regular goal, to lay down and just stare at the big, beautiful sky for 5 minutes a day. It really puts things in perspective I think. So, if and when you're having a rough day and feel like you've been asked to handle Job-like struggles, just go outside, (preferably not at noon-ish, the sun hurts your eyes then) and stare at the sky or 5 minutes. That's it, just 5 minutes. I put my stamp on that and guarantee that it will help. Also, try not to do it when the lawns been recently watered. Still a nice experience, but a little less than supreme when the realization hits you.